Christian's yearning
by JustAPenNameForMe
Summary: An alternate universe in which Christian is yearning for Ana. Because instead of trying to get Ana back when she walks out, at the end of FSOG, Christian lets his 50 shades and dark side take completely over.
1. Chapter 1 Yearning

Disclaimer: I do not own the Fifty Shades trilogy, nor Christian Grey's character – I just play in the sandbox created by E. L. James!

Summary: An alternate universe in which Christian is yearning for Ana. Because instead of trying to get Ana back when she walks out, at the end of FSOG, Christian lets his 50 shades and dark side take completely over.

A/N: Originally the reason for their split was going to be that he cheated; but then I came across Emine's incredible CG point of view trilogy, and for the life of me, I can no longer imagine let alone write a cheating Christian.

~ YEARNING ~

"Once again congratulations, to both of you" Christian hugs both Elliot and Kate. It is the end of their engagement party and there is only one person he wants to talk to right now. He has been waiting all night to approach her; it is now or she will be gone once again.

She is sitting at a distance; Ana, _his Ana_, is talking to some girl, probably one of her and Kate's friend. Ana is like a magnet, regardless of how crowded a room is, he can always sense her, feel her, find her. There is a pull to her; as much as he wants to deny it, after all this time, she is still his sun. There is a gravitational pull to her, he goes from 0 to 100 in a nanosecond. He craves her, needs her body-mind-and-soul.

Christian walks towards her. To the casual observer, he is master of his universe, he is in control and successful. Inside, however, he is concerned that she'll reject him _– will she talk to me?_

They have not talked since the day she walked out of Escala, after he disciplined her _– oh how he misses her smart mouth!_

"Hi, Anastasia, you look beautiful" and she does, extraordinary. She is wearing a two-tone black and white dress. The black pattern runs along the sides and to the ¾ sleeves, the front and back of the dress is white. It hugs her perfectly, enough cleavage to peek anyone's interest, without revealing much. He knows fashion; this number is one of a kind, made exclusively for her, exquisite.

She is wearing black high heels that make her legs look fantastic. She is still petite and slim, but she has definitely been exercising; she has lean muscles and curves in all the right places. Her soft hair framing her face in cascading unruly curls; she is wearing minimum make up; full lips that cry kiss me; and oh, those eyes, those blue eyes still as captivating. She looks up at him, and as always, he feels like she can see through him.

"Hello!" is her simple answer _– that is positive, she did not send me away!_ He pulls a chair and sits to the side of her, resting one hand on the table and the other on the back of her chair. "It would be good if we could catch up" he says in a most un-Christian like voice, not quite pleating, maybe just hopeful. In answer she raises her eyebrows.

"Care to join me, Anastasia, for a drink or maybe just tea?" The way he says her name, makes her insides cringe, and a pool of wetness now stain her underwear.

"I can't. I have a thing tomorrow, in N.Y."

"I could arrange -"

She shakes her head "… I have a jet waiting for me" she interrupts.

"There are so many things I would like to say…"

"Anything that needed to be said; has been said"

Christian closes his eyes, as if to gather his thoughts to what to say next. She reaches and rests a soft hand in his; she then stands up and walks away right after saying "Bye, see you at the wedding."

The small contact sends an electric shot through him. As if he had touched a live wire. He closes his eyes; he inhales the scent she leaves behind. For a brief second his control is gone, he wants to run after her, take her against the wall and mark her as his. He would buy her the world; he would put it at her feet, anything and everything her heart desires.

- _What good is it to be a billionaire if he cannot have the one he wants and needs above all others?_

He wants to engulf her in his arms, breath her scent, kiss her, take her to his bed, wake up tangled in her. No other woman has been allowed to be in his bed. Ana, his Ana, would be his queen; he would forgo kink if that is what would bring her back to him.

Instead of running after Ana, though, he controls his impulse, letting the rage and anger take a hold of him once again; he stands up and goes the opposite way.

~0~

A/N: I have some ideas swirling my mind for back, and future story lines from this point, but I'm not sure if you would like me to continue. What do you think - interested in more chapters? Or is it just enough as a one shot?

~0~

A/N: WOW… really… wow. Thanks!

I posted "Christian's yearning" before I went to bed; then, when I woke up this morning I decided to check and see if anyone had even read it. So here I am eating my cold cereal, I grab my handy old laptop and what do I find? PMs and reviews voting to continue… I got to admit, my inner writer is dancing. Thank You!

* yes... I will continue it … after the overwhelming response how could I not!

* yes… I will fill you in on what happened and why CG did not send her the email to take her to Jose's show.

* as for timelines, I think I will try and keep the original timeline. Just because they are not together, does not mean the world is different or at stand still. Kind of like when something happens to you – as in a break up with someone, or a death, or even loosing your job - the world may seem cruel that it keeps on moving, but it does. The birds sing, people laugh, and the crazy lady from down the street is still just as batty.

* I have to go to work now… just wanted to drop a note to say thanks and I better get busy, I got a story to write!


	2. Chapter 2 A thing in NY

A/N: looks like this is the little story that could... thanks to all of you that have been reading, favorite, reviewed, followed, and PM!

I think I have some idea were I want to take this story; but I am making it up as I go, if you have ideas, comments, requests etc… send me a PM or just leave a comment; no promises that I'll incorporate everything but ideas and comments are always welcomed… ok so since a journey of a 1000 miles start with one step… here we go

~ A thing in N.Y. ~

"Let go … no … Don't touch me! This is what you really like? Me, like this?

… Well you are one fucked-up son of a bitch…" Christian wakes up drenched in sweat – his ever present nightmares which feature the whore, and her pimp, have now expanded to include a gun to Ana's head, and her either walking away or being killed on the spot.

_Fuck! _ He misses her warmth; _if she was here, I would hug her and fall a sleep again… no that is not true_, his inner Christian pipes up… _if she were here you would not have had the nightmare to begin with! true… very true._ So, instead Christian gets up, plays the piano and goes for a run, Taylor not too far behind.

Christian sets a grueling pace; he doesn't do it to show off, he just likes to push himself to the max, at all times; and he runs to forget his troubles, as if he were to reach a unknown destination, all his fucked up life would be left behind; akin a forgotten journal that you do not longer want to read.

During the run he replays his conversation with Ana; she didn't say much. Just a_ hello… have a thing tomorrow, in N.Y, … a private jet waiting for her _and finally a_ see you at the wedding. _A simple conversation that is on constant replay in his mind; there were no Sir, Mr Grey, sadly not even a Christian. Not cheek-in-tongue comments; no smart mouth, nothing. She treated him like an acquaintance.

Is that what they are now? Just someone that they once knew… acquaintances that fucked in passing; little more than one night stand and a whole lot less than exes or even ex-friends with benefits… their relationship only lasted few weeks… as acquaintances is how he would and do treat any of his ex-subs if ever meet in a social setting and they lasted 3 months; some even made it to 6… but Ana's few weeks mean more than any of those put together.

Christian accelerates; he keeps running maybe if he exhausts himself, his mind will turn off. _Ana is #16; that is all! What kind of a Dom are you, Grey?_ The inner voice that sounds pretty much like Elena says. _She was never my sub, but I am #1 in her list_, he smirks to himself… _there should not be a list dumb ass! She should never ever share herself like that with anyone but me…_ he stops on his tracks; as if stopping abruptly will make his monolog stop… _ .mine and only mine _and just to show off, his stupid voice counters _no she is not!_

Christian makes his way to Bellevue to join his family for brunch. The last thing he wants is to sit across Elliot and Kate while they make googly eyes to each other. _Fuck! He has never ever been jealous of his brother until now, not because of Kate, but for what they have… he never wanted that until Ana crawled under his skin._

Christian joins his family outside to the patio where the brunch is being served. His family home is as beautiful as always; the pier visible in the distance; a stone path leading the way. He sits there and eats with his impassive façade, he notices that Kate keeps checking her phone, as if waiting for a very important call. It seems she is more preoccupied about not missing a call than about the conversation, comments of how fantastic the engagement party was last night barely registers, she looks anxious.

He thinks it is odd; he knows she doesn't like him, and she has barely acknowledged him. That is an improvement, she is typically antagonistic, but it strikes Christian as even more odd behavior.

When the phone finally lights up, Christian notices that it is not a call; but an alarm. Kate smiles, as if she has received the best news since the proposal, she excuses herself and walks to the side of the patio, towards the pathway.

"What is that about?"

"Oh, I don't know, I overheard Ana telling her of a big announcement or another about a business partnership of some sort..."

That has Christian's full attention. First, it involves Ana. Second, it involves some sort of business deal AND maybe he can contact her, offer his help. After all, he knows something about business.

"Ahhhhh OMG OMG OMG" Mia screeches, she made her way to Kate and screaming, jumping from one foot to the other; she swipes the phone off Kate's hands.

"Don't!" Kate screams but it is too late; Mia has connected the phone's port to the console that controls the outside TV. "She meant for only me to see it!" Kate yells to Mia.

Taylor comes running with his gun drawn to find all the Grey's speechless staring at a beautiful picture of Ana. She is topless, her beautiful white skin glistening as if she just stepped off the shower or a pool. Her face is looking over the shoulder, her back towards the camera, her hair cascades over her back carelessly, and her tight little ass is nicely fit on 'Calvin Klein' jeans low enough to show the beginning of her underwear with the word 'Costa' on them.

The worst part as far as Christian is concerned, is that her waist is being held by a male model with abs of steel, his jeans are equally low, opened and half way zipped, the name on the jeans say 'Costa', and the elastic waist of his underwear read 'Klein.' He has water droplets all over, and is looking at Ana with lusty eyes.

Her eyes are what captivate Christian; he has seen that look before, the mischievous look she gets right before she goes into the playroom. As if she knows she is getting some. He cannot help it, he is instantly hard; images of Ana wet and moaning for him pour uninvited to his mind.

He can hardly comprehend what is going on. Ana, his Ana, is now THE face for a partnership between two major fashion houses… not only that but there is some type of big deal designer being introduced, Milo Costa somebody or another, he is holding Ana's right hand, and the male model her left; they walk in front of the picture; address the press and answer questions.

She is wearing jeans and a simple white blouse; her make up is heavier than she usually wears; but she looks outstanding. He has a black T-shirt and black washed jeans. They do make a gorgeous couple.

"Boy, they look great!" Kate says out loud and just clamps a hand on her mouth looking over to Christian for a second and then looking back at the TV. The segment is over, and a local NY program follows. Mia turns off the TV still speechless.

"You!" Christian points at Kate with all the venom and hate and anger he is feeling at the moment. Immediately, Elliot gets up in front of Christian.

"Don't finish that sentence" he says with equal fervor.

They stand there for a second looking at each other in the eye; there is no doubt they will be punching each other in a second. The only question is: who will throw the first punch. That is when Kate's phone rings; she answers in a barely audible voice while walking out of the way "boy toy looked good!" Elliot follows Kate saying something like "Congratulations!"

Christian turns around, not saying a word and punches a hole into the nearest wood door and walks away.

~0~ TBC ~0~

A/N: … now do not go expecting updates this frequently :)

I picked N.Y. because, well, it was mentioned several times in FSOG, Hyde was going there w/ Ana on a business trip; Christian has an apartment there; and it is a center for the fashion industry with reveals, shows etc... So I think it works.

– do tell, what is your opinion of this chapter?


	3. Chapter 3 broken

Disclaimer: I do not own the Fifty Shades trilogy, nor Christian Grey's character – I just play in the sandbox created by E. L. James!

A/N: For this chapter I started out with Ana's POV, but she turned out to be quite talkative and we needed some back story for context…

~ broken ~

**_… two months earlier…_**

Christian lands Charlie Tango with ease and gives marching orders for it to be taken back to Sea-Tac; he walks to the awaiting SUV and his ever trusted security detail, Taylor.

"Escala Taylor, and when we get there I would like to be debriefed on everything that happened the last few days."

"Yes Sir."

Taylor and Christian arrive at Escala and immediately go to the home office. Taylor starts with some run of the mill happenings, when he mentions "… and on Friday, Ana quit her job, Sir"

"She QUIT her job!" Christian is screaming and pacing in his home office.

"Yes, Sir."

"WHY the fuck didn't anyone tell me?"

"You were not to be disturbed on your trip, Sir."

Christian stops in his tracks and looks over at Taylor. Taylor is cool and composed as always, but there was a hint of something there resentment, sarcasm, anger, something that Christian has never sensed in Taylor "…and what reason did she give when she resigned?"

Christian is loosing the little control he has managed to gain in the last few days.

Taylor knows that the next two words will raise his boss's blood pressure through the roof - _maybe I should have a doctor in stand by_ - "sexual harassment, Sir."

"explain!" Christian's hiss was barely audible

"She went to New York on a business trip with her boss, one Jack Hyde, Sir." There is a brief pause – _like a band aid, just get it over with _- Taylor tells himself "she claims that he made advances of a sexual nature during that trip, Sir."

"What did he do to her, exactly?"

"There are no details, Sir."

"Did you not ask her?"

"No, Sir."

Christian's barely keeping himself put together, his heart is racing, his pupils dilated, he is angry; no ranging fury is what he feels like; lava carousing through his body he is ready to lash out at any moment. He needs to hit someone, soon, and Taylor is looking mighty good for a brawl "and what was done to the fucker?"

"As per SIP protocol, a reprimand was delivered and put into his permanent record, Sir."

"What?!"

"There were no witnesses, Sir."

Christian closes his eyes, and counts to 20… "I am going to ask you this only once more, why was I not informed?"

"Your instructions said you should not be disturbed unless it was life and death situation"

"You could have used your fucking brains, Taylor!"

"I checked on Ms. Steele personally, Sir. She seemed fine, no visual sings of struggle on her, Sir." – _she looked like she had been crying_ - but he leaves that out and continues "… There were no records of a hospital visit, here or in New York, Sir."

Christian sits on his chair; he knows where Taylor's mind was when he checked for hospital records.

After what seems like an eternity, Taylor interrupts "On Saturday, we received a report that Leila bought a gun, Sir."

"What the fuck does she want with a gun!"

"We believe you are the target, Sir. Since you were safer away, we just kept a tab on the situation" and Taylor then puts an envelope on the desk. Christian opens it and pictures of a red Audi splatter with white paint are displayed. Christian just looks at Taylor, demanding an explanation.

"Ms Steele's Audi was vandalized Saturday night, Sir… we think that she was looking for you, since she did not find you, she took it out on something that represents you… you gave her a red Audi, the same model, that car represents you to her, Sir."

Christian stands up and runs both hands on his hair. "Where is Leila?"

"We have not found her, Sir."

"Is there anything else you have forgotten to tell me while I was … away?"

"No, Sir."

"That's all, Taylor" and Taylor leaves without another word.

Christian starts pacing his office and a thousand thoughts bombard his mind; all of them point to the same conclusion – _I failed Ana, my fucked-up-ness affects everyone, Leila is out there alone and planning who knows what, and Ana… Oh Ana, you could have been raped, maybe she was and I don't know it… I failed to protect my Ana… If only I had been here… Taylor did fine, he went beyond what was required and took it up on himself to check on Ana… while I was… oh no, no, no… I am such as shit, a fool, a dumb ass, she is better without me, she is right I am one fucked-up son of a bitch… no a whore._

Once Christian composes himself he calls Bastille, and expend the rest of the afternoon in an exhausting combat with his trainer; there is no two ways about it, it is a grueling physical exchange. Sweaty and tired, he walks in to penthouse and is greeted by a happy Mr Jones.

"Good to see you, Sir. Dinner is ready whenever you like"

"Ms Jones, I'll take dinner here right after my shower" and he points to the breakfast bar. During his shower, Christian formulates a plan, he will call Ana and offer her 24/7 protection, a woman detail so she is more comfortable. He will offer her a job, any kind of job she wants; at SIP, or any of GEH companies. He now owns SIP, she can have the company if she wants; and that fucker Hyde he'll have him hanging by the balls if he still have some when he is done with him.

With that plan in mind, he feels much better, and sits to eat. He has not taken the first bite when his phone rings. He looks at the caller id and his heart skips several beats.

"Anastasia" his voice is dripping with relief.

"S-sh-she wantss you to come heee-" Christians feels like someone has pulled the floor off and he is freefalling. He runs to Taylor's office and with one look Taylor knows something bad … really bad has happened; Christian mouths 'Leila' to Taylor; with that Taylor jumps on his phone and starts giving orders.

"Where?"

"My apartment"

"Put her through" they get on the elevator, and he puts the phone on speaker

"She won't take the phone, she has a gun, she won't…" and then the line goes dead

Christian is on full panic mode; Taylor shouts instructions to his phone and talks to his ear piece. They jump on the SUV and speed to Ana's apartment. Once there, Taylor breaks the door down and they find Leila pointing a gun to Ana. Ana, of all things, is in the kitchen making tea!

Christian looks over and his adrenaline is pumping through him. He is stops asserting the situation; what to do, what to do… and then he see it… barely a hint but it is there; when he looked at her, Leila looked down, and he knows what to do; he lets his Dominant persona take over; and take over he does. He orders Leila to a submissive position by just a look and an unheard word; she is well trained, and follows his order as expected. Christian orders Taylor to take Ana out of the room when he notices she is frozen to the spot. He tells Taylor to take her to Escala.

Dominant Christian chastises Leila, she agrees that she has done wrong and begs to be punished. "First, you need a bath, you are filthy. Why do you let yourself go like this?"

"Master" is all she manages to say in a week almost child like voice.

_- she is dirty, and skinny, her eyes are soulless… is that what I do to girls? She is a trained submissive and is broken like this. Is this what he wants from Ana? No wonder she left! She had to; it is a matter of self preservation…_

"Come!" he orders and she follows him to the bathroom. Christian bathes her and calls Dr Flynn; dresses her with some of Ana's clothes. Taylor comes back and they work as a team; they check Leila into a mental facility.

When Christian finally arrives at Escala, Ana is not there. He panics once more and orders Taylor to go find her. Taylor and his security team go into Seattle in the twilight to try and find her; their only clue is that Taylor saw her walk away with Ethan. Christian is exhausted; the last 24 hours have been a rollercoaster of anger, rage and anxiety. He needs to talk to someone. Flynn is with Leila, so he calls the next person that comes to mind.

"Elena" his voice pleading.

"Christian? Is that you? What happened?"

"Leila had a gun…"

"I am on my way" and they hang up.

When Elena walks into the apartment, she catches Christian yelling "FIND HER!" into his phone. He seats on his couch, his head hanging low, looking down. He looks tired, and hopeless.

"Christian?" Elena approaches him carefully, as if he were a caged angry wild animal.

"Elena… she, she had a gun to Ana."

"Where is she now?"

"With John, some facility… We cannot find Ana, she left and we cannot find her" and Elena just breaths in and sits next to Christian. He rests his head on her shoulder and she runs a hand on his hair; when she hears a sob, she gets angry.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing? Crying for a sub?!" she is standing now, fury in her eyes

Christian knows her stand, right in front of him, is Dominant Elena; and he is glad to see it, he obeys without question; in one fluid motion he drops to his knees, head bowed, hands on his thighs.

_- For the first time in days his mind is quiet, he is serene, relaxed. _Submissive Christian does not need to think, he surrenders, no more rage, no more anger, no more orders to give. He is expectant; he knows she is a very harsh Dom_ punish me, I deserve to be punished; I am bad, very bad; I don't have a heart, I failed to protect them; I broke Leila; Ana left; please hit me. He can almost feel the bite of a cane; he is looking forward to it. Christian is in that place of total surrender, he expects orders and he'll follow them; to the letter, without question; he wants to please and make her happy; he is hardly aware of his surroundings; it is as if his body is far, far away and his mind is floating in an ocean of serenity._

"Pet" her voice is harsh, and lusty, her heart rate has increased twenty fold, her eyes are full of desired. She runs her hands on his hair, smiles and pulls.

"Stand" she orders and he does; she rakes her nails down his arms. Christian closes his eyes; he is play dough in her hands.

"Get out of this house!" an implacable, furious voice startles Elena…

~0~ TBC ~0~

A/N: … and did you really think I was going to let Elena have her way w/ Christian?

So I glossed over Leila's scene because you already read it in FSD and to Christian it is just something he does; nothing special, he is not obtaining gratification of any kind when bathing her at all, just self doubt and self abhorrence.

P.S. If you Google "Myles Crosby Calvin Klein Bold" you'll see the kind of body of the male model I imagined when I wrote CH2. However, I am still trying to figure out if there is more than a platonic relationship between Ana and her model. Regardless, it is going to be enough to bring the green eyed monster... in uber alpha male CG.

… until next time… Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4 mama Grey

Disclaimer: I do not own the Fifty Shades trilogy, nor Christian Grey's character – I just play in the sandbox created by E. L. James!

A/N: A little bit about the timeline:

a. Christian and Ana split Saturday, June 4th. Established by the date in the emails they send each other in FSOG.

b. Chapter 1 and 2 of 'yearning" occur sometime in September; about 2 months and a few weeks after the split. Elliot proposes to Kate Saturday, August 27th (again from email dates, this time in CH13 of FSF); I assume an engagement party will happen a few weeks after the actual proposal.

c. Chapter 3 of 'yearning' starts on Tuesday morning. The Leila incident is right before dinner on Tuesday, June 14th (again from the email dates on CH12 of FSOG). This chapter picks up right where chapter 3 left off.

Loving your Favs, Followers, PMs and reviews! 2 chapters in one as a T-day special : )

~ Mama Grey ~

"Get out of this house!" an implacable, furious voice startles Elena…

Grace deliberately and with authority walks into the room, like a mama bear protecting her cub, she stalks around to where Elena is standing.

Elena has taken a few steps away from Christian.

Christian is just standing there, no reacting, as if he is frozen in time. Finally, Grace stands in front of Elena, slaps her, hard, breaking Elena's lip which gushes blood.

Elena puts her hand against her cheek and lip; her eyes look like those of a fighting bull.

"Take your filthy paws off my son, you whore, and get OUT!" demands Grace

"You do not understand, Grace, he has needs!" Elena tries to explain

"Get OUT!" Grace bellows, picking up Elena's purse from the table and throwing it against a wall.

Elena thinks for a minute, she knows that Christian would never forgive her if she does anything to Grace, so she picks up her purse and leaves.

Christian just stands there; he does not react at all… Once Elena is out the apartment, Grace turns to look at her son and demands "Christian, are you having an affair with Elena?"

"No" he answers using a monotone voice.

They stand there for a few minutes; Grace walks over to the couch and sits.

"Lets talk"

Christian just stands there doing nothing.

"Sit, Christian." Grace uses an annoyed tone; Christian drops to his knees, parted slightly, head bowed, hands interlaced behind his back. He looks like a POW resigned that he has only minutes of life.

"What are you doing?" Grace asks her son; he does not answer.

"Where is Ana?" no answer "Christian Trevelyan-Grey, I asked you a question and I expect an answer!"

"I don't know where Ana is"

"John said your ex-girlfriend had a gun to Ana's head" – _Elena and an ex, I really do not know much about you do I; what kind of a mother does not know these things!_

… no answer… it is as if time stands still…

"Talk to me Christian!" Grace orders

"What would you like me to say?" he answers as if he was saying the answer to a rote question in primary school

They sit there for about 15 minutes. Grace has been studying him; he has been holding her gaze, not saying anything, and he is not moving. He is not really here, he is distant; he looks lost, like the little abused and forgotten boy that she adopted so long ago. She closes her eyes, walks to her purse and calls Dr Flynn.

"John, I need you to come to Escala…"

"Is Ana back?"

"No… it is Christian, he is just sitting on the floor, not saying anything, vacantly looking into the distance. Oh, John it is like when I saw him the very first time; and he did not talk for four years after that!"

"Is he catatonic?"

"No, he gives one word or short phrase answers…"

"Keep him talking. I'll be there shortly"

"How do I keep him talking?"

"Asks questions, with a stern voice, as many as you can think of"

"John, Hurry!"

…

"Christian, why was Ana alone in her apartment?"

… no answer…

"Christian, I expect you to answer me. I will ask you questions and you will answer. DO you understand?" she says with a very firm tone.

"Yes"

"Good, now why was Ana alone in her apartment?"

"She left me"

"Why did she leave you?" – _oh sweetie, you have a broken heart_

"Because I am one fucked-up son of a whore"

Grace wants to hold him and tell him he is not, but she pulls her doctor training and continues.

"Is Elena the reason you split up?"

"No"

"Does Ana know about your affair?" _– please, say there is not affair, please, that I missed read what I saw_

"Yes"

Grace closes her eyes and takes a deep breath

"How long did it last?" – _please, say once, one time, just once_

"six years"

_no, no, no… _and then she asks the question she knows she does not want to hear the answer to "How old where you?"

He does not answer; he does not recognize that she even said anything

"Answer me, Christian! How old where you?" Grace demands

"fifteen"

Grace's heart breaks into a million pieces; she intakes as much air as she can possibly manage, her hands are shaking – _her baby boy, she is a failure of a mother, under her own nose and she delivered her son on a platter to that bitch_

"Why, why in the world didn't you tell… someone, your dad, your coach, your doctors, someone?"

There is a pregnant pause; when he finally answers, it is barely in a whisper "… because I did not want it to end…"

Grace wants to cry, to drop to the floor and join Christian into that world he is in, hold her son and never let him go.

"You've done well, Grace. I'll take it from here" Dr Flynn says softly

Startled, Grace looks up "How long have you been there? John"

"Long enough"

"You knew" it is a statement rather than a question

"Yes, now I need to be alone with him"

"Think again, John, if you think I am leaving my son LIKE THAT" she points to her son sitting immobile on the floor

"He needs his doctor" _– or someone he recognizes as his Dom_, but he does not say that

"and he needs his mother"

"It is my professional opinion, Dr Grey, that you are mistaken"

"I'll be in the office" and Grace walks to her son's office, closes the door, and sits on a couch; eventually falling into an uneasy sleep.

…

John walks over to where his patient is; sitting on the floor; John thinks very carefully what to say next.

"You are mistaking if you think for one second, I am going to kiss you" he says with a light tone to his voice, and sits on a chair across Christian. Christian just raises his eyes to look at Dr Flynn.

"…and I am not going to flog you, or whip you or whatever kink it is that you are picturing in your mind" Christian bites his cheek, and holds John's gaze. John knows he is on the right track "I'll do almost anything for my patients, but I'm drawing a line right there…"

…minutes pass…

"Christian, you have not asked me about Leila. She'll be there for a while, when I asked her she claimed she did not know an Anastasia" Christian looks down again; his breathing slows; he almost looks like he has fallen a sleep.

_-wrong move doc; John thinks... I need to bring some emotional connection … Grace was not enough…_

"Anastasia" John repeats, sternly. Christian lifts his head "I doubt that she even exists… I think that she is a figment of your imagination…" Christian makes eye contact for the first time and wrinkles his brow "I mean, you never mentioned her before … that is the reason why your security team cannot find her, there is nobody to find…"

"Ana, my Ana"

"Tell me about your Ana. What is she like?" "She said she loves me"

"What comes to your mind when you think of Ana?"

That has the desired effect and Christian starts talking and his answers get longer and more passionate, after some back and forth Christian is sitting on the couch back to his normal in control self.

"My understanding of subspace, Christian, is academic, but I thought it happens after, not before a session. I thought the submissive would go into that trance-like state after the adrenaline rush of pain and satifaction of pleasure."

"John, I have been on an adrenalin rush for a week!"

"Care to explain"

Christian explains about…_ planning a week of all out BDSM sessions; leasing a Californian ocean front villa with a helipad, planning on going to a BDSM club day and night for a week; he was looking forward to it, but when he finally made it to the first session he lifted the whip and when the girl looked up at him with anticipation… all he could see was Ana's blue orbs full of tears, Ana's broken pained expression, Ana asking him to stop… he tried to summon anger but all he felt was aberration; he dropped the whip and left._

Christian closes his eyes and takes in some air. John cannot believe his ears a breakthrough of this magnitude was no more than hope of his a few hours ago.

Christian continues_… went rowing alone in the ocean just to clear his head and ended up doing that for the rest of the time; at first it was very different than the rowing he is used to but he liked the challenge and solitude. Each day going further and further away; sometimes wondering if it would be best to just keep going and not come back. That the only reason he came back was because he could not bear the thought of breaking Grace's heart, and the remote possibility of seeing Ana again. He just returned this morning, he was afraid that if he took that boat again he would not return. Back in Seattle, he learned of all that happened to Ana, and how angry and upset he was at his short comings. That he tried to deal with the anxiety and anger with a grueling session with his trainer. Only to have to deal with Leila's incident, and to top it all now Ana is missing._

"If you were not here, I would have come out on my own. You know, so don't be so smug" Christian finishes his story on a matter of fact tone.

"Shackled and whipped" the good doctor counters

As if remembering something amusing, with a smile, Christian adds "… no shackled, but yes, passed out, laying alone on the floor…"

They do not say much for a minute or so; their silence is broken when Taylor, followed by a security team, comes into the apartment and starts giving their findings. "Ana went to New York; there is a fly plan of a private jet registered to Benetton Enterprises and listing two passengers Ana Steele and Ethan Kavanagh"

"Who in the hell is Benetton Enterprises?!" Christian asks.

… there is no answer …

"Christian, if it is the same to you, I'll be going" Dr. Flynn finally says

"Sure, bye John." The good doctor is walked to the elevator by Taylor.

Christian dismisses Taylor and the security team. He lifts his sleeping mother and settles her into the guest bedroom – not the sub room – the guest bedroom next to his own room. He then goes to his room and falls a sleep for a few hours – holding the note that Ana left next to a model glider when she walked out of his life…

_This reminded me of a happy time. _

_Thank you,_

_ Ana_

In the morning, once he is showered, he takes the model glider and begins to build it while drinking his coffee.

"What are you doing, son?" Grace asks.

Christian stands up and walks to his mother "Good morning mom, I tried not to disturb you when I moved you to the guest bedroom, the couch did not seem comfortable"

"Thank you son, I am used to it. I do it often at the hospital."

"This is a model glider" Christian points to all the pieces scatter across the table "Ana gave it to me and I am building it" there is a proud note to his voice.

"That's good son. How is Ana?"

"She is fine. She ran off to New York."

"I see, how are you holding up?"

"Mom I really do not want to talk about last night"

"We need to. Elena and you" Christian cringes but does not say anything so she continues "… and you sitting on the floor like… you looked so broken"

"Mom, it is a coping mechanism; it has not happened since I left Harvard" – _because I broke it off with Elena; _he thinks but does not say it_._

"We will talk about this" she says sternly

"I know, just not right now mom" and he pulls the only card he has "… I need to recover; I am mentally exhausted mother…"

That has the desired effect and she drops it.

"Join me for breakfast Mother?"

"No, I need to get going. I'll just get a yogurt to eat on my way."

Christian walks her to the elevator thanking her for being there for him last night. She gives him the saddest haunting look he has ever seen in her and she leaves.

- _You are an ingrate, Grey, that woman has done everything for you and this is how you repay her!_ his snarkly inner voice tells him. Christian thinking of Ana, sits and continues to build his model glider...

~0~ TBC ~0~

A/N: * I added a bit to Grace and Elena's scene, I toyed with the idea of an actual cat fight but it just did not fit right… I wanted CG hitting rock bottom before pulling himself backup by the bootstraps …what do you think of CG's trip to CA? and what do you think of submissive CG?

** 4fiction – is Ana haunting enough? : ) - I started writing this chapter when I posted CH3, and named it 'mama Grey' as in 'mama bear.' viola .walsh .73 got close; Louisvuittonfreak and chepburn77 guessed it was Grace; and chepburn77 came close to guessing this chapter's title – she just did not know it :)

*** I am trying to figure out where CG's NY apt should be. I am thinking it should be ultra modern, with lots of security, and many other amenities like secured private gym for the rich and famous. Got any ideas?

… until next time… Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5 wanting more

A/N: In the last 2 chapters we took a detour to discover what CG was up to the days after the breakup... now we join CG right after he punched the door at his parents (CH2).

~ wanting more ~

Christian turns around, not saying a word and punches a hole into the nearest wood door and walks away.

Taylor follows closely and Christian starts "Taylor, have that door fixed, and we are going to New York; make the proper arrangements."

"Yes, Sir. When do you need the plane by?"

"I want to be airborne within the next four hours."

"Right away, Sir"

Christian's inner dialog kicks in _I am going to get what is mine; she was never yours, she never signed the contract!_ He closes his eyes. _She is what I want. I always get what I want; you always buy what you want, Ana is not for sale, buddy if you haven't noticed, you cannot buy yourself into this one. _He nodes and swirls his tongue around his mouth. _Grey what kind of a Dom are you? She is not my sub, so I am not her Dom_… He rubs his hands on his pant legs. W_e just need to redefine the terms of the relationship_… he picks an invisible piece of lent off his knee _to be what exactly?_… _the one thing I never considered before_… and he answers out loud _more_.

Once in the SUV, Christian grabs his phone.

"Mr. Grey?" Welch's disembodied voice answers

"I need you to find out Ana's schedule for the next two weeks"

"Yes, Sir. Anything else?"

"There was a press release with Ana next to a male model; find out who that guy is"

"Right on it, Sir"

Christian hangs up and three and a half hours later, Christian is air borne on his way to the big Apple.

He is holding his head, facing down, his eyes looking through his eyelashes, reading the screen, his elbows at either side of the laptop on the table.

During the last few months he has put together some pieces of the puzzle; Benetton Enterprises is owned by an Italian family rooted in the fashion industry. It is headed by Franco Benetton. Franco is in a committed relationship with Milo Costa, fashion designer. He has no children, but he has a couple of nieces and nephews positioning themselves to take over the family business. They have a fleet of private jets for company use as well as available to be charter, mostly used by modeling companies and Hollywood types.

When Ethan returned to Seattle, Christian talked to him; he remembers the exact words _'She told me three things' _Christian listened intently_ 'one' _Ethan lifts a finger_ 'is that an ex of yours pulled a gun on her' _then Ethan lifts another finger to hold two fingers up _'two, that you and her broke up' _Ethan lifts a third finger_ 'finally, that she could not say more about you because she signed and NDA. If you need to know anything else, ask her directly. I will tell you though, that she is amazing, she would have been right to lose it having a gun pointed at her, but she just did not freak out and kept her cool. She is fine, in good hands… so yeah don't worry.'_

During the first month of Ana's stay in NY, Christian had her followed and received weekly reports. Ana has been staying as a guest at Franco's apartment at Trump International _– at least she is safe and well_. She has been using her savings from the sale of the car for incidentals and lessons. After a month of no much activity, he kept an eye on her bank account only –_ mostly because I didn't want to read about a date or something, that I could easily be replaced_.

He never thought of Ana having any modeling inclinations. He sets up alerts to receive news, articles and stories about Ana; now with the CK-Costa campaign going on, articles are bound to be written about her. If he had known, he could have introduced her to the right people_ – She is so shy though! I would have never guessed… I thought she'll be back to Seattle in no time… back for her friends? not even Kate has been around too busy with Elliot… for her family? not in Seattle … for me? … yes, no reason for her to comeback is there?..._

He never considered Ana becoming the face of a fashion house, earning her way, and having Mr-I-have-abs-of-steel-Alex-fucking-Muyron hands all over her! The fucker is actually a world renowned Greek model – who knew – he is in Forbes and has a net worth estimated at $17 million. Christian's smiles to himself; his own net worth is many factors that – _but Ana doesn't care about whose bank account is largest, hummm maybe his dick is tiny, and how would Ana find that out Grey?... _

The fucker has done well. It seems he has a bit of a reputation for being a playboy. He wonders what Ana makes of him. Christian falls asleep for a while, when they finally land; Taylor has been his efficient self. There is a black SUV waiting for them; the house staff has been alerted including the housekeeper, Mrs. Martinez; Christian sits in the back of the SUV - _how will she react? …I have lost it to this girl… I want more, anyway I can get her, she doesn't have a sub bone in her body and amazingly that is fine… ten weeks, I have made no contact with her in ten weeks; then we talked briefly at the engagement party; I see her on a picture with a man and I run cross country to her... this girl has bewitched me!_

~0~ TBC ~0~

A/N: Since the guidelines here in FF list "Stories with non-historical and non-fictional characters: actors, musicians, and etc." as part of the 'Entries not allowed' and I am not sure how strict they are about that; I made Ana's male model a fictitious guy. I just named him 'Alexis 'Alex' Muyron.' Muyron is a mid-5th century sculptor of bronze gods and heroes statues. Alex is Greek because I wanted a cute accent that Ana may find sexy and Adonis is Greek, therefore, so is Ana's model : )

** There is an Italian Benetton family, but as far as I know, there is neither a real Franco Benetton nor a Milo Costa.

… until next time… Thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6 Ana's tale

A/N: I don't think I say it enough… thanks to all that have set favorites and follows, PMs, and reviews for this story.

* … now we'll see Ana's side of things… It starts right when she leaves Leila in her apt w/ CG.

~ Ana's tale ~

After Taylor had carried Ana out of her apartment, leaving Leila with Christian, Ana runs into Ethan; and instead of going to Escala, they go to a bar across the street. They talk for a while, observing what is happening. Christian carries Leila to an awaiting car, with Dr Flynn and a nurse close behind.

Ana and Ethan exchange stories over drinks, and Ethan shows how great a friend he really is. He offers a shoulder to cry on; which is exactly what Ana really needs. She is trying to come to terms with the events of the day and Ethan provides a sound board and witty comments. Ana really likes the change of being able to talk to an easy carefree man, a positive change from her Mr-in-control-freak-Grey ex.

Later, Ethan and Ana decide to go to a hotel; ever the gentleman he offers to get two small rooms, but she does not want to be alone and they decide on a single room with two beds, unlike Ana, Ethan falls a sleep easily. Sometime during the night, Ana decides to accept her friend's invitation and plans an impromptu visit for a few days. Which, for Ethan's surprise, means a plane ride to a fashion show of some sort; the fact that there will be beautiful models around is a perk. Ethan has clothes in his knapsack; they buy Ana a few dresses in a nearby shop just for the next few days.

"Ana honestly, when I said I'd stay with you through the weekend, I never thought it would be traveling across country to visit your sugar daddy!"

"Ethan! He is not my sugar daddy."

"Well, this plane is pretty sweet."

"Yes it is" once they settle down in their seats and the plane is well on its way, Ethan prompts "I waited long enough, spill it, Steele"

Ana takes a deep breath and starts "Alright, so Christian and I broke up last weekend" Ethan turns to face Ana and listens carefully "Will you ever tell me why?"

"No, I signed an NDA" at that Ethan wrinkles his face, Ana continues "… Christian doesn't want me selling our story to the tabloids… so anyway, I am all sad and not really paying much attention around me. I start my new job, you know at SIP. I get this boss… called Jack Hyde… he is like all over me, and I ignore him. Thinking he'll get the message, you know?" Ethan nods.

"… anyway, he and I go to New York on a business trip. Once we get there…" she bites her lip and looks out the window, Ethan just waits, she sighs "…that night, he cornered me in the hotel, at one of the now empty conference rooms… he cornered me and copped a feel, he was pressuring me, saying that I got the job because of him, and that I could make things easier for myself; to give into what we already both wanted…" she shivers as if suddenly the temperature dropped "… his hands were all over me and I kneed him on the groin, hard and ran."

"Bravo, good for you Steele"

Ana similes simply, and continues, now that she started she just does not want to stop "…I was so nervous; all I wanted was to lock myself safely in my room. I got disoriented and instead of finding my room, I ended up in the lobby. My legs were giving under me; I had to sit, I could not walk or run or anything, so I plopped myself on the nearest chair available…"

She cracks her knuckles and rubs her hands as if steadying them; Ethan reaches over and holds both of her hands in one of his.

"… the chair was an over stuffed brown leather chair, and it was really soft and comforting, like a cocoon, it was comfortable…anyway, there is this older gentleman sitting on a similar chair next to mine; he notices that I am shaking and almost hysterical; he approached me in the most caring tone, and offered his handkerchief. Really like who carries a handkerchief these days?"

She looks at Ethan as if expecting an answer; then continues…

"When he talks is like overly dramatic, overly stereotypical gay guy; you know, the funny gay uncle in any of the comedies you ever seen; like if Robin Williams was playing Elton John… You'll see when you meet him…"

Ethan actually laughs at the description and she is smiling "I'm glad to see you smile" he tells her. She nods and continues with the story.

"We sat there and he signaled someone from the near by bar, he ordered some hot Italian chocolate, called cioccolata calda, it is now my favorite drink you know. Well, anyway, he is Italian and a real good listener. It is hard not to like him, you'll see. We sat there and I told him what just happened… he was very upset. He is overly dramatic, you'll see, really nice too."

Ethan notices that Ana is rambling a little and repetitive, based on all the psychology textbooks he has been reading; his inner psychologist guesses it is probably due to all the stress she has been under; she is purging it all; it is a good sign that she is talking; so, when she goes quiet, he encourages her.

"What is his name?" Ethan asks

"What?"  
"Sugar daddy, what's the name?"

"Oh, yeah, he is Franco Benetton, he is an Italian man whose family is into clothing and fashion – he has a husband, you see." She rambles a bit "Well, he got really upset and told me that some if not most men are pigs, that I should sue SIP and quit my job."

Ethan smirks "Not a bad idea, did you sue? Need a lawyer?"

"No!" she shakes her head "Franco's husband is Milo Costa; well Milo is an up and incoming designer. Franco was waiting for Milo in the lobby. That is why he was seating in the lobby… they live nearby but Milo was doing something with a show…" there is a small pause "…after a while Milo showed up and Franco tells him the story and how shook up I am… and they offered me a body guard for the night and I of course refused."

"Why did you refuse?"

"Don't know just feel weird …then he asks me if my boyfriend wouldn't be worried at home for me; that I should consider calling him and at least listen to my boyfriend's reaction. He was hoping that a boyfriend would agree with them that I needed a bodyguard. Well, by this time I am already looking pretty pathetic, so in for a penny in for a pound, I tell them I just broke up with my boyfriend…"

"I do not think of you as pathetic, your life is like a soap, though" they both laugh and sit in silence for a little while.

"I do not tell them the name, the NDA and all. Milo thinks it is a very weird thing to do to make a girlfriend sign an NDA and I should have ran for the hills when he brought it up. That life is too hard to try and keep secrets; if people do not like who you are, you should send them packing; life is too hard to have any kind of relationship based on secrets…"

"They are gay" Ethan says as if that explains everything, and it probably does.

"About that time, I have to tell them something about the breakup; I tell them that my boyfriend treated me like a blow up doll; so it was not a big loss…"

"Did Christian treat you like that? Make you feel like that?" Ana's face goes red and she bites her lip "it is not your fault, you know" he tells her holding her hand.

"Anyway, they offered a jet to bring me back home that night; they didn't think it was good for me to be forced to be there with Hyde; I would have to take the same commercial flight sitting next to him and all that. He claims they have jets in most major markets and it is as if they were offering me a taxi home. After a while, I accepted their offer; I didn't know what to do! Right before I left, Franco asked me to come back to NY and go to Milo's show with them. I told him I would really love to go but I couldn't afford it. At the end, Franco gave me his card and I came back to Seattle" Ana ends her story with finality.

"When was this?"

"I arrived in Seattle Friday morning; by that afternoon I had resigned SIP. So I called Franco on Saturday to thank him for all he did for me, you know, and he kept inviting me to the show; he is very persistent. He called me yesterday and I told him that I was thinking about it. Last night I really wanted to get out of Seattle, I really do"

"Well having a fucked up bitch pull a gun on you will do that!"

"Yeah" she pauses a bit "… since while you and I were at the bar, you told me that you'll keep me company all through the weekend; and with Franco's invitation and all. I called him and said I would go. I have a little savings from selling my car, so I was going to use some of that for plane tickets or something… but then Franco said he already had a jet in CA and it could pick us up on the way back… so here we are..."

"That is quite a story Ana."

"Yeah"

"You think I can pickup a model or something?"

"Don't know, thinking there will be a bunch around; play up your charm and maybe" she winks.

Ethan holds her hand and seriously asks "are you ok though? Really after the psycho ex and stuff"

"Yeahhh, just a little freaked that's all"

~0~ TBC ~0~

A/N: there you have it that is how a mysterious designer and a private jet came into Ana's life : )

If you can, leave me a comment, I enjoy reading them; and they encourage me to continue … until next time … Thanks for reading!


	7. Chapter 7 Ana discovered

Disclaimer: I do not own the Fifty Shades trilogy, nor Christian Grey's character – I just play in the sandbox created by E. L. James! But I keep the intellectual property to the non-recognizable public domain story line; which are right out my imagination and are .MINE :)

A/N: *In this chapter we see how Ana is discovered. As AriadneInNaxos points out Ana is too old to just be discovered as a model in the real world - Veruschka was 20 when she was discovered, but that is an oddity.

** Also, in this chapter Ana seems naïve; she does not recognize/see the 'bad' side of the modeling world. She doesn't see the bulimia, anorexia, pot-smoking side of the want-to-be models; it does exist in this universe, just she does not see it in this chapter. In this chapter I see her as a naïve young woman with incredible luck under the tutelage of a powerful couple in the fashion world – and she needs to grow up and become worldlier, which she does as the story progresses but for this chapter she just arrived in NY and is finding her way…

~ Ana discovered ~

Once Ethan and Ana arrive in New York, they are ushered to a white sedan and escorted to Trump International's private apartments. There, Franco and Milo are discussing last minutes arrangements and changes with a team of people.

Franco is as flamboyant as Ana described him and instantly puts Ethan at ease. The apartment is fantastic, luxurious and leaves Ethan and Ana speechless. It is furnished eclectically and extravagantly with animal print rugs, and antiques; nothing matches, but nothing clashes either. Everything goes together as if someone considered the last detail and it has evolved through the years. The views are incredible; she sees the tree tops and the city skyscrapers just beyond. The sky is cloudless and baby blue with a few white streaks of white as if a toddler streaked it across a blue canvas.

To Ana, it is the opposite of Christian's. Instead of white and minimalist and modern; Franco and Milo's home is full of color and furnishings; they have live plants and a dog is resting comfortably in the middle of the room. Duke is the dog's name; a beautiful fluffy creamed colored poodle that probably has had a haircut more expensive that hers.

There is a home office; which is full of people talking, and arguing and nosily moving about. They meet Lisa Benetton, she is Franco's nice and must be in her mid-30's; she is beautiful and elegant, she wears her blonde hair up in a bun and has green soft eyes. She heads the advertisement department for the Benetton Company and has a friendly demeanor but Ana gets the feeling she must be a fierce business woman that should not be crossed.

The apartment is full of life.

In no time Ana and Ethan are settled in the guest quarters where is quiet; after a while they decide to walk around the city. The first thing that Ana notices is that the City is crowded, lively, busy and noisy, with people moving about going from one place to another; the next thing she notices is how everything is twice as much as it is back home.

For the show, Milo offered Ana one of his designs; Ana was going to refuse but she knew he would take offense so she accepted without much fuzz. It is a simple emerald and silver cocktail dress. The show itself is something Ethan and Ana will not forget. The theme is black and white; all the clothes are either black or white or a combination of the two. All the models are also either black or white. The show seems so organized and the girls so confident; Milo's styles are fresh and classic with a touch of the unexpected.

The next day, while they are having brunch; people keep interrupting to congratulate Milo, however, a few seem interested in Ana and they give her business cards.

"Congratulations Milo!"

A woman that looks like a California surfer girl approaches; she has straight long blond hair and big boobs and has a tan that is too dark for her. She is impeccably dressed and very elegant; it is an odd combination.

"Thank you, Lana"

"Why on earth didn't you use her last night?" the woman turns and introduces herself "Hi, I'm Lana from VNY" the woman gives Ana yet another business card.

"Ana Steele and this is Ethan Kavanagh my friend" Ana simply says, not knowing what the right thing to do is; she wants to divert some of the attention from herself, it is making her uncomfortable.

"Yes, yes, hello…" the woman says not looking anywhere else but at Ana "I don't know if you have signed, but come and see me anyway!" Then the woman says her goodbyes and leaves.

Franco is squealing in excitement, he takes the cards from Ana and sorts them. One stack he gives her back saying she should not do business 'with those people'; then, he gives her back Lana's card saying "this one you should really consider; they are the best and honest. They'll treat you right."

That afternoon, back at the apartment, Milo brings up the topic of ads for his campaign.

"I am looking for fresh and sexy. It is in a few months and I have a short list of potential girls and CK has the male model picked already but the most important is the direction we want to take this. Something people won't easily forget."

"Sexy and unforgettable" Lisa reiterates.

Franco and Milo go back and forth for a while. Ethan is trying to be polite but it is obvious to Ana that he would like to be anywhere but in the middle of this discussion. Lisa just listens while Ana is feeling like she should contribute with something; they have been so nice to her. She finally brings up the only idea she can think of that is sexy and different "… set them up as a role play as a Dom and a sub; they can be wearing your clothes but tied up with scarfs or rope; but it could have a social message like against abuse or something."

For an instant she thinks she said the wrong thing, all have different reactions. Lisa looks at Milo and has a secret conversation with their eyes. Franco squeals.

Ethan play punches her shoulder saying "kinky – I like!"

Milo grabs her face with both hands and kisses her right on the mouth. Ana is dumb struck.

"Get a rep! You are my girl. I got phone calls to make." Milo says with authority and walks away.

Lisa follows with an "it is going to be great working with you!"

For a moment Ana doesn't know what just happened; when it sinks she is nervous. Lisa has a brief conversation with her and follows Milo to the home office and they close the doors.

The next day, after thinking it over, Ana tentatively stays behind while Ethan goes back to Seattle. Still, Ana feels odd that she may become a model and confides in Kate.

'Are you seriously considering saying no?!"

"Well, not sure if I should, there are thousands of girls out there that are prettier than me"

"You are certifiable, you know that. Yes, thousands would kill for an opportunity like this and if you do not take it; I will be the one killing you… are you crazy!"

They barter back and forth for a while and oddly after the call Ana feels better about staying in NY. Lana is over the moon and signs her on the spot; having a contract ready with Milo opened doors that would have taken years.

Lisa has offered her 'input with the creative team to come up with some of the ideas for the advertisement campaign; it doesn't mean she can make decisions but she can provide ideas; she'll be compensated' –_ funny would have done it for free!_

Milo and Lisa are always busy; Franco has become Ana's closest friend. Ana expends the next few months learning the 'trade.' It is a good distraction, she is so busy that the only time she thinks about Christian is at night, and that is when she cries herself to sleep.

Kate and her talk often; Kate sends her clothes, and includes some of Kate's own clothes; Ana thinks it is incredibly nice of her to have done so.

Ana never considered being a model; now after some classes she is actually excited and dreaming that it is a possibility she can pull it off. It feels like she is dreaming. A new beginning, a new life, she cannot imagine herself walking on a catwalk; but when the time comes, if it ever does, she'll have to figure out a way not to make a fool of herself - _maybe just print advertisement will be all she does_.

It has taken a lot of self-introspection and work on her self-image and confidence; and amazingly all the classes have helped a hundred fold. She still has some work to do – _no kidding Sherlock_ her inner self asserts – she feels a lot more confident and surprisingly she is starting to see herself as pretty; moving to N.Y. was definitely the right move.

She really enjoys discovering the City; it is shock full of amazing places, even though she is on a budget there is always something to do and places to go. She visits the NY public library, a large building with lions at the front and endless corridors with dark tables at either side; the multi-tier chandeliers are round and give the place an aura of old world; the most striking are the ceilings with copper and wood carvings and murals of skies and clouds. She loves to read and the book collection is incredible.

She also visits the Met, the museum of modern art, the main building is a majestic gothic building with large steps out front, large columns at the entrance. The great hall has large arched celling and alcoves; and half-moon windows; it makes her feel small. Her favorite is the European sculpture court it feels open an airy with glass ceiling. She expends afternoons among English and French furniture; impressionist art; and Egyptian art.

Ana misses Kate, it would be fun to explore with her; maybe go to a club or two. Even Ethan or Jose would be fun to have around. She enjoys Franco and Milo's company, but their budget is more on par with Christian's than her own, which is way out of her league.

Once Ana signs the contract and gets a signing bonus, the first thing she does is to look for an apartment of her own – _I need to grow up, no roommates, I really do not want to deal with a girl brining boyfriends around_.

Eventually she finds the perfect place; it is a lease for a year, the owner, Mrs. Smith, wants her to cover the maintenance fees and utilities only. Mrs. Smith bought the apartment for her son a few years back, he recently moved to another state; and now she wants to keep the apartment for her daughter who is still in high school.

11 Riverside Drive is not as fancy as Franco's but it is nice, safe and larger than what she expected to afford in NY. She is happy; and decides to splurge on new furniture. So she goes shopping, Franco is a funny shopping companion and very helpful when she asks for his opinion. Afterwards, they go to lunch at Il Buco which Franco claims is the best around; Franco has risotto and she has the rigatoni. As usual, they talk about everything and anything such as all the books Ana likes to read, the architecture around, the food, but he never asks about Ana's ex – Ana is incredibly grateful that he has never brought it up and seems to respect her privacy.

The first few photo-shoot-sessions are fun; the model representing CK, is Alex; he is tall, muscular and handsome. He has a sexy Greek accent, broad shoulders and ripped abs; a handsome face; he reminds her of a Greek statue.

In one session, she is in a bikini. She silently thanks Lana for suggesting a wax, and who knew that IUD actually reduce periods to just spotting for a few hours. Ana is in her bikini and blindfolded with her hands extended as if she was going to be handcuffed; Alex is wearing a swimsuit and holding up a crop as if he was going to hit her hands.

She is the most self-conscious when she is topless, wearing only self-adhesive black breast covers; he is topless as well and his pants are unzipped giving the impression that he is undressing. The photographer keeps asking her to look into Alex eyes with desire; she finally gets it right when she imagines Christian holding her. Afterwards, Alex and Ana talk a little about each of the sessions and go their different ways. She thinks it is odd that he keeps calling her 'love' and asks her on a date – she gently declines.

Her favorite session is the one they call 'Playtime.' Ana is wearing a gown, and is supposed to stand with determination while Alex moves around in several poses and state of undress. Then they swap, and she is wearing a very sexy white laced bra with little pearl accents, very tight leather pants and jacket, stilettos so high she can barely walk; there is a silver car – the one that looks like the one James Bond uses - and Alex is dressed with a tuxedo, looking very much like James Bond; it is her turn to move around the car and Alex.

"Where are you staying?"

"Trump International"  
"Nice, you travel in style"

"No really, I am staying for free at Milo's apartment"

"Sweet!"

"Yeah, I just got a place of my own, moving in a few weeks" – _don't go thinking I am a smoocher_

"Alright, where at?"

"The Schwab House"

"Nice!" They continue talking for a while about the real estate market, the type of units she has been looking at and the apartment she chose. He tells her where he lives and she mentions she wants a pet but with traveling that may be a problem.

Alex asks her out on a date again and this time she agrees; they plan on going out after the CK-Costa reveal.

~0~ TBC ~0~

A/N: … and that is how Ana became a model : )

* A few years back I read about a model being discovered in a similar fashion, just eating brunch at a NY hotel, I cannot remember her name though. I figured it would work for Ana as well.

** Also, Ana is being sheltered by Milo, and Franco, eventually she needs to expand her wings. At some point she might be referred as too old, or not skinny enough or not experienced enough – but at this point we are building her self-confidence up (she needs to be strong for the force CG is) so those comments are not quite here yet. Also, not too many models get a signing bonus for their first contract nor have an input in advertisement.

– do tell, what is your opinion on this chapter?

… until next time … Thanks for reading!


	8. Chapter 8 of nightmares and reality

Disclaimer: I do not own the Fifty Shades trilogy, nor Christian Grey's character – I just play in the sandbox created by E. L. James! But I keep the intellectual property to the non-recognizable public domain story line; such as the advertisement and commercials; which I tell you are mine from my own twisted mind :)

~ of nightmares and reality ~

"Mrs. Martinez …" Christian starts "… if I ever ask you for tea, I need you to make hot Twinings English Breakfast tea, black and weak"

"Yes, Sir" and she carefully writes Twinings English Breakfast tea in her grocery list – _odd he is rarely in NY and now he has me buying tea?_

Christian continues his breakfast and reading the alerts about 'Ana Steele Model.' There are a few about the reveal as the female model for CK-Costa. A few other stories are about her in some after party. One has a picture of her and Alex at a restaurant smiling at each other; with the caption "Alex's new love interest?" Christian hits the back button immediately.

He sees the newly released advertisements, there is a page titled "Her playtime" with a picture of Anastasia in a beautiful blue gown that matches her eyes; Alex is facing her, only his back is visible to the camera. He is completely naked _–boy he has muscles, wonder how often he works out?_ The words 'HER BOY TOY' are written at the bottom of the page in large black letters. The next full page is titled "His playtime' with a picture of Alex in a tuxedo, Anastasia with a black leather jacket almost off, down her bare shoulders, leaving a white sexy bra as her only top. She is seating sexily on top of a silver Austin Martin DB5 her right foot has a high heel shoe dangling from her big toe; her left shoe is completely on, her knee is bent and close to her chest, her head thrown back smiling at a private joke. She looks hot! The text underneath says "HIS TOYS." The text is in white letters. Then, there is a final page, with neutral faces of babies, girls, boys, women, men, teens and tweens with "NOT TOYS" in red letters written across the top and bottom of the page; with smaller latters right bellow 'say NO to abuse'.

_'Fuck, fuck' it is as if she is talking to him, there is a picture of a red headed boy with grey eyes, it could be a fifteen year old version of himself, in a corner almost hidden among the others…. Fuck! I must be reading too much into this there are blonds, brunettes, red heads and everything in between…_

The last story has Christian in need to punch yet another door. The title reads "They are just like us" and it is a sequence of four pictures forming a square. The first one is a close up of Anastasia rolling her eyes and Alex making fish faces at her; the caption reads "they make funny faces at each other." The second picture is of Ana wearing Alex coat as they walk in the city; the caption reads "they forget their coats and get cold." The next picture is of Alex leaning into Ana as if sharing a secret, Anastasia looks like she is listening intently at what he says, the caption says "They share secrets." The last picture is of Alex and Anastasia reaching for each other's plates; the caption reads "They share their food."

Christian slams the laptop close, and goes to the gym. He exercises until he cannot move a muscle anymore _– maybe I should get a personal trainer here. Why? …Shouldn't you be going back to Seattle? Obviously she is moving on… .MINE! …Well she doesn't seem to know it! … I cannot believe how easily she replaced me! … Maybe I don't mean much to her… she said she loves me… is that good enough? ... She is with him! …I am not longer her only one… A bit of a hypocrite aren't we! … Does it matter? … No, it hurts how stupid I have been… let her go… I can't… what if she doesn't want you? ... I don't know, she is just angry and running away… once she knows I am willing to … to what? ... to adapt; maybe she won't run anymore… and what about Alex? … what about him, I never shy away from a little competition … and I will always be her first … she said she loves me; if that is true, he is just a temporary diversion…_

The rest of the day he focuses on work; but that night Christian falls into an uneasy sleep

– _he walks into his bedroom and Ana is standing there wearing only sexy red lingerie, all see through, that makes her look like a goddess or maybe a she-devil … he smiles … she is smiling towards her right side instead, there stands Alex, just on his boxers she reaches over to him and caresses his chest; she hugs him and soon they are in a passionate kiss. She runs her nails on Alex's back leaving red marks and scratches behind – those won't heal for days. She then licks his chest all through the muscles lines; she starts at the base of the neck, and slowly moves down; when she reaches the elastic band she turns to Christian, her eyes are red like rubies, big like emeralds and in a purring voice says "see Alex lets me touch him, and lick him all over and you don't… that is why I like him better" She turns her face once again and starts licking Alex's chest once more. That is when Christian hears the pimp's voice "you are not worthy of her, you are a fuck up monster good for one thing only" and a lit cigarette is seared once again into his chest…_

Christian awakens with a start, sweating and tangled on his sheets; he can smell burnt flesh; he can feel the pain, just as if he was 3 all over again… He gets up and expends the night playing over and over Chopin's Nocturnes, in B Flat, in C Minor, in E minor... over and over...

…

"Ready, Sir?" Taylor asks.

"Yes, let's try not to attract too much attention" Christian says more to himself than to Taylor _– I am only doing this because she'll be there…._

Once they arrive; Taylor opens the door; Christian fixes his trousers so the crease is perfectly aligned; he sets his features to cool and controlled.

Christian smiles and waves as he quickly makes his way among some paparazzi; he really cherishes his privacy, events like this he rather skip. She will be here tonight, and therefore, so is he. It is perfect, he thinks, it is too public for her to make a scene, too important to her to run away; all he has to do is surprise her and maybe a few minutes of conversation, one step at a time...

His timing is impeccable; she is walking up the steps when he offers her his arm to escort her in. He is smiling broadly.

"W-what are you doing here?" – seeing him there, in a tuxedo, makes her weak at the knees - _he looks more handsome than ever; if that is even possible_. Like one of those James Bond moments; when Bond is in a tux all handsome and self-confident.

"Smile Ms. Steele, there are cameras everywhere. You look spectacular as always." He reaches and kisses her hand.

Pictures and flashes come from everywhere. She is wearing a blue asymmetrical gown that matches her eyes; it fits perfectly, made of lace and blue satin. The satin stops at mid-thigh allowing her legs to be visible through the lace; one shoulder is covered with a lace sleeve that extends right above the elbow, leaving the other shoulder bare; the fabric fits like a second skin over her torso and once it hits the hips, it feathers away, giving the effect of a trail.

"Christian. I cannot believe you! How? Why?"

"Chin up, dear, smile, they need to see you are happy to be here."

She is fuming, bewildered, she wants to slap him, she wants to push him, and she wants to run away. "I must have pictures taken with Alex!" her voice is whiny; she wanted it to come out strong and demanding; she digs her nails in his hand drawing blood _– childish but feels good_.

They reach the top of the steps and many more pictures are taken. Christian is smiling broadly.

"Ana, who are you wearing?" asks a reporter.

"Costa of course!" she answers with enthusiasm – _I will not allow him to spoil my evening!_

"And you, Sir?" the reported asks Christian.

"Armani…" Christian says answering the question charmingly.

From the left side, Alex appears and takes Ana's left hand; she gives him a squeeze. For an instance both Alex and Christian are holding Ana's hands.

"And who are you wearing?" the reported asks Alex.

Christian reaches over and murmurs to Ana, just so she is the only one that can hear, "I will wait for you inside" kisses her hand and leaves.

For Ana, the next few minutes are a blur of flash photography, and introductions. Once inside, Alex and Ana get immersed among the sea of people, and as soon as he can, Alex leans towards Ana and asks "Who was that?"

To which Ana replies "ex."

Alex laughs "Oh that explains it! You alright, love?"

"Yes." Ana is biting her lip, she is looking over her shoulder and she is incensed –_ he is here!_

"Christian Grey" he says introducing himself as he approaches Alex.

"Alex Muryon" they shake hands and Christian rests his left hand on the small of Ana's back.

_- for a second Christian imagines reaching over and breaking Alex's nose, pulling Ana to him and walking out of this place with her_

She tries to wiggle out, but Christian rests his arm on her bared shoulder instead – _the electricity passing between the two is palpable._

Both of them inhale in synchronicity.

She is throwing murderous looks. That is when a couple reaches them. The woman with light brown hair in a short bob kisses Christian on either cheek; she is wearing a white gown that seems to be made of pearls –_ Ana feels territorial, who is this, another Mrs. Robinson?_

Christian and the man handshake; "This is Mrs. Windtour, Editor in chief of American Vogue; and her husband Dr. Shaffer" he says as way of introductions.

"My girl, Ana Steele, and have you met Mr. Muryon?"

They exchange pleasantries and Ana finally finds her voice "how do you know Christian?"

It is Dr. Shaffer that answers "Oh, we go way back, over twenty years right, Grey?"

"Yes, that sounds about right. Ana, Dr. Shaffer is a world renowned child psychiatrist…"

"I see; that is great" –_ oh fifty he is yet another of your Drs._ Her eyes connect with Christian's and recognition passes that she has it right.

The couple soon leaves to talk to somebody else and Alex soon follows suit saying that he'll find Ana later.

"What are you doing here, Christian?"

"At the moment, hoping to talk to you."

"Your stalking tendencies know no bound! You had to call in a favor to your old doctor!"

"You got that wrong, I did not call in a favor" and he points to the program; there listed among the sponsors is 'GEH' "… have been a sponsor for years."

"Is this amusing to you? Grey!"

"No, but you look fabulous tonight"

"tell me what is so important for you to say"

He closes in and softly for her ear's only asks "I just want to know; that day when you left, why did you not safe-word?"

"This is neither the time nor the place!" she is furious again - _more to the point she does not have an answer as to why._

"You are right! My apologies…"

At that moment a shorter man with dark receding hairline approaches. "Hello, I am Franco Benetto."

Ana turns, gives him a hug and introduces Christian as "Christian Grey, from Seattle."

As they shake hands, Christian adds "Her boyfriend."

"ex" Ana clarifies.

"Well, I suppose there is some debate on that one." Christian says sheepishly.

"I see" Franco answers with a devious smile; that is when Ana tries to make her escape, but Christian would not let go of her hand; however, it is obvious she needs to go where Alex is extending his hand and photographers are snapping pictures. Reluctantly, Christian lets her go; his eyes following her every move.

Franco interrupts the silence with "so you are the one!"

"Yes…" _how much does this man know? _"… thanks for taking care of my Anastasia all this time."

"… she has cried a river for you, Mr. Grey."

"That was" Christian corrects himself "… never has been my intention."

"She has become very dear to me; like the daughter I always wished I had…"

Christian nods _– getting the message loud and clear, she is not alone, back off, do not hurt her._

"There are many women out there…" Franco continues

Christian does not let him finish, "none like her" he says truthfully.

"No, I suppose not…" then Franco searches Christian's eyes

"I am not going anywhere" Christian stands up straighter and squared shoulders, positioning himself for a fight _– do not think for a minute you scare me._

"Flowers and chocolates, Mr. Grey, are always a good choice; for this case, probably diamonds…" Franco winks, pats Christian elbow in a fatherly gesture and leaves Christian on his own…

~0~ TBC ~0~

A/N:* Many thanks to KCat2005 for suggesting their first meeting be at the steps of a fashion gala at the Met!

** When I read that Dr Shaffer was indeed a child psychiatrist, I just could not pass the opportunity to make a connection to CG; in my universe Dr. Shaffer is well and with Ms. Wintour. I hope that doesn't offend anyone.

– do tell, what is your opinion on this chapter?

… until next time… Thanks for reading!


	9. Chapter 9 At the Met

~ at the Met ~

(Still at the Met Fashion gala…)

"Hi there Lisa" the women kiss and hug with familiarity_ - she is such an amazing business woman…_

"Ana, dear, you look fabulous! How are you doing?"

"Doing well. Getting ready to move to my new apartment; I get the keys tomorrow."

"That is exciting dear" and they continue talking for a little while when Lisa presses again "…yesterday it was a week since the CK-Costa reveal. Are you holding up O.K.? You are now in magazines spreads all over and many more to come." Ana smiles shyly "today is Monday, you are becoming a very recognizable face, Ana; I bet by Saturday your name will be recognizable too … I even saw a little something in TMZ about you and Alex…" Lisa teases.

"You better than anyone know not to believe everything …"

"No, no. But Alex is a great looking guy."

"Aren't you used to being around handsome men?"

"Sure, sure; and I can recognize one a mile away" and Lisa's eyes point a little behind them.

Ana, without even looing, knows… it must be _him_…

~0~

Christian finally finds Ana somewhere around the Salon of the Hotel de Varengeville exhibition; she is a few steps away from a counter set strategically for tonight's events. She is trying to blend in with the crowd. She looks at ease talking to a blond woman; he approaches them carefully …

"There you are Ana!" he says as if he has been looking for her all night

"Hi there, I am Lisa Benetton"

"Christian Grey" they exchange pleasantries and after a while Lisa leaves since dinner is approaching.

Once again Ana finds herself cornered by the force that is Christian Grey.

"Christian, I do not bother you when you are in your business meetings; please show me the same courtesy."

"Good point-well-made Ms. Steele" he says with amusement.

"Why are you here Christian?"

He stands behind her and touches her neck; he can feel how tense she is. "Because you are here" he rubs circles around her neck; she closes her eyes and lets the electric current run thru her whole body; it is as if they are in their own bubble uncaring if anyone sees them or if a picture is taken of this most intimate of moments.

He reaches over and hugs her from behind; his arms around her waist, her hands over his, his lips against her ear lobe. He carefully supports his weight; his left knee bended slightly; pulling her in on him on a swift move; like a practiced dance step. She is leaning her back against him and she feels him – all of him. Her breath catches and she steps away.

"I have missed you so much, Anastasia…"

"I can't Christian"

"Don't fight this… don't you feel it?" He inhales her hair, _she smells of honey and something that is uniquely Ana… his Ana... like citrus and spring blossoms_.

"That has never been the problem…" her breath is ragged, her core has melted like ice cream on a hot July afternoon.

"Ana, let's go somewhere else, anywhere you want" _–let me take you, let me show you how much you mean to me _"… say the word and I'll take you anywhere; just tell me" he says

"I can't"

"You are my lifeline, Ana, I want more, with you and only you…" he drags his finger on the top of her hand and stands by her side very very close

"I … I think I better go" – she can feel him throbbing right where her hip gives way to the swell of her bottom –_ if I don't go now I won't be able to resist him, I will have my legs around him begging him to take me… why not? it is not like you don't want him _her unhelpful inner goddess says on bended knee.

To onlookers they seem like a couple standing close to each other in a familiar way that lovers, or maybe close friends, do just waiting for something or someone; admiring the museum pieces.

"Anastasia …" the way he says her name makes her shutter; she turns around and he hugs her so his hands are joined at her lower back;

"Are you? Are you with him?" – there is pain in his eyes.

She shakes her head, for an instance she wants to say yes, leave me alone, "No" – she sees something, like years evaporated off his face.

_- Her answer was so final, she did not even have to think, and relief flows through him._

"Don't you have a little… someone; waiting for you in your red room?" they both know that she is asking: do you have a sub?

"No" Christian answers with intensity while looking directly at her eyes

_- is that what she thinks? That I have a sub? Why wouldn't she think so? Are you surprised she would think that; have you told her otherwise?_ "Everything is as you left it. There has not been anyone; it is you only you. We need to talk…" He tries to reassure her.

"Maybe, some other time, but I just do not see you changing and I cannot give you what you need." She leans and gives him a chaste kiss against his left cheek, right where his stubble starts. He closes his eyes to savor the moment.

She inhales his scent – of _his expensive gel, and after-shave and that musky smell that is Christian Grey,_ and yet again, she walks away.

That kiss felt like a hello and a goodbye, like a beginning and an end, all wrapped in one…

~0~ TBC ~0~

A/N: * For those of you trying to figure a timeline …

They break up Sat, June 4th. The reveal is 10 weeks later (CG says so in CH5), that is Sun, August 14th. In this chapter, Lisa just told Ana that the reveal was a week ago yesterday… also she mentioned that today is Monday, so this chapter is on Monday, Aug 22nd.

… until next time… Thanks for reading!


	10. Chapter 10 now what next

A/N: I don't think I say it enough… thanks to all that have set favorites and follows, PMs, and reviews for this story; they do not go unnoticed!

~ now what next? ~

Christian decides to skip the dinner at the gala.

Taylor is waiting with the car door open; when Christian asks him the most unexpected question – and that is saying something!

"Have you eaten tonight, Taylor?"

"I was planning on doing that later, Sir" –_ WTF?_

"Do you like sushi?"

"Sir?" _– double fuck!_

"You heard me… Do you enjoy eating sushi?"

"Yes, Sir" – _I do not get paid enough to hear you sulking over Ana_

"Good, to the Koi in soho, then"

Once they arrive, Christian has taken his jacket and bow tie off.

The restaurant is decorated with browns and oranges; a sushi bar is in the middle; oriental statues decorate the entrance. There are round tables and the walls are lined with booths; there is bamboo, white orchids, oriental decorations, and plants to soften the dining rooms.

Christian requests for them to be seated at the sushi bar. As they pull on the soft orange barstools, it is obvious that Taylor is unsettled at the turn of events tonight. Once seated, Christian breaks the silence…

"You are not on the clock, have a beer"

"Sir?" _– boss has fucking lost it!_

Christian smirks a little; "Taylor, you have worked for me for five years" it is a statement rather than a question.

They give the order for the drinks and given the selections for the sushi. Christian looks it over and selects what he wants and instructs Taylor to do so as well. Taylor selects a few things and waits or the next shoe to drop. Finally, Christian continues the conversation.

"If I had accepted your resignation; what would you be doing?"

_- Is that what this is? Am I getting fired?_

"Sir?" _– I thought he needed a shoulder to cry over Ms. Steele; she really is doing a good job on moving on without him._

Christian lifts his beer; indicating he is waiting for an answer.

"I would have taken some time off… then personal security, hopefully in Seattle where I can see Sophie once in a while… What are we talking about here, Sir?"

"I did not expect you to resign…"

Taylor takes another swallow of his Saki. "I fucked up, Sir. Ms. Steele had a gun pointed at her for fucks sake!" Christian winces at the memory "... and you in California with no protection –"

Christian interrupts him "… nothing happened on that trip; whatever you are thinking; I went rowing in the ocean" _– why am I explaining myself here!_

"I know, Sir."

Christian looks surprise and then smiles _– of course, Taylor is the best._

"… and then I could not find Ms. Steele, Sir. How could that happened? I thought I –"

Their dinner arrives and they eat in silence for a while. Their beers gone, Christian orders another, Taylor sticks to green tea. Even if the boss thinks he is off the clock; Taylor keeps vigilant.

"Ana came here on her date; I didn't even know she liked sushi…" Christian offers as if stating it was cold outside.

_– Yeap, boss has totally fucking lost it! Certifiably. Now he is even stalking the places she goes to!_

"Ms. Steele seems to be very good at the modeling thing" _– she is making a life for herself and doing fucking great job at it. _Christian raises his eyebrow at Taylor; so he amends "… I can only imagine that it would feel like it, if it was Sophie, Sir"

That seems to appease Christian.

They finish their dinner; Christian just continues to sit there. Taylor waits.

"It has occurred to me, Taylor, that I need a security team."

_- So I __am__ getting fired!_ Taylor puts on his poker face

"I want you to be the head of security of the team; I want you to put it together. We'll have two bases, New York and Seattle, so they have to be flexible. You will be able to fly back and forth to visit your daughter if that works for you…"

"Yes, Sir!" he answers with a smile _– instead of being fired I am getting a promotion!?_

"I trust you Taylor. Let's go home."

"Yes, Sir"

Once back, Christian stops at the consigner and gives them specific instructions. Then goes upstairs to his unit and jumps into the shower.

Finally alone on his bed his mind starts running through the night events. Ana looked spectacular; Taylor is right, she is doing great at the modeling thing. She looked pretty ticked off; she is so cute when she is angry! He did learn she is not with Alex... that made everything worth it.

He opens his laptop and searches for 'BDSM clubs NY' Yes, Paddles is still there. He then searches his computer for the private clubs he knows; as soon as he finds them he drops the idea. He goes to a few porn sites; he does not find what he is looking for – mainly because he does not know what he is looking for. He turns off the computer.

He closes his eyes; he can smell her - _citrus and spring blossoms_; he can feel her skin – _soft and silky_. He inhales. It has been weeks, no, months since he had a woman… he feels himself grow… Her hair; he can almost touch her long brown mane…

Flashes of women run through his mind… _Ana's first time; his first time; Stephanie tied to the cross panting for him; Tina's extra large nipples surrounded by cloth's pins; Claudia's rose bud expanding for him; Angie walking on all fours with a pearl encrusted plug; him bringing Sheila to the cusp of orgasm and denying it yet again …_ He opens his eyes and looks at his hand, Ana's nail marks still visible; he licks them and spits on his hand… he reaches over, his hand hurts a bit as he grips, he likes the pain, and closes his eyes again…

This time the images do not have faces just flashes of his mind's pictures:_ buttocks red from the bite of a belt; a woman on a sex swing; long legs wrapped around him; a back being hit by a crop; opened legs in offering to him; in out; up down … _the most prevalent image is of Ana_, her look desirous with want, dripping wet, panting_… like a 15 year old looking at a magazine and stroking, with a grunt he finds release.

_Ana, what I am going to do with you! If she wasn't on the picture, he would be home with a nice sub; fucking until next week. Or at the very least, he would have gone to one of the private clubs. Instead, he is here, in bed thinking of her…_

~0~ TBC ~0~

A/N: * I think that scene is still non-descriptive enough to keep the T rating!

** I am not sure how often I will be able to post in the next few weeks; the holidays are just around the corner; my parents are about to arrive for a few weeks visit; and I have hard deadlines at work.

… until next time… Thanks for reading!


	11. Chapter 11 she needs a leash

A little something as way of a holiday present to all my readers…

**Merry Christmas Happy Hanukka**

~she needs a leash ~

After the gala, Milo, Franco and Ana arrive to the apartment to find an arrangement of beautiful red roses with a lavender rose in the middle and a box of chocolates.

"Those are nice" Milo exclaims "who are they from?" he wonders out loud.

Ana is petting Duke's soft head; he is sitting slightly to her left side in front of her, his left paw extended to her as if to say 'hi'; his hair is soft and curly; Ana really likes to gently pull and scratch on his fluffy ears.

Franco, already suspecting the answer, picks up the card and reads it; hyperventilating gives it to Ana. Ana straightens her back and grabs the card. She immediately knows who the sender must be, the card reads…

_"If you look on the ground in search of a sixpence, _

_you don't look up, and so miss the moon."_

_You are my moon, Ana, my more_

_xo_

_CTG_

_I'll be waiting for you,_

_ 15 CPW 39th Floor_

"Darling go; you got to go to him" Milo says basically pushing her out of the door

"I don't even know where he is" she complains

"15 Central Park West, it says it right there you silly" he points to the last line "… just a block away now go"

"I am not going"

"Of course you are" says Franco closing the door behind her.

Ana walks to the consigner, writes a note and asks for it to be delivered immediately. Then she goes right up to the apartment, where Franco and Milo are surprised to see her back so soon. "I sent him a note" she murmurs "good night and thank you for being such good friends; I really appreciate it, more than I can express; but there is a lot of history between Christian and I…" She proceeds to remind them that she was moving the next day and makes plans to go to her apartment with Franco since Milo is busy. Finally she goes to her quarters. Once Ana is in bed, she closes her eyes, inhales and falls asleep; she dreams of crops and spanks… and grey eyes.

~0~

Christian opens the note as soon as it is delivered.

_Ladies know what to guard against, _

_because they read novels that tell them of these tricks;_

_ but I never had the chance of discovering in that way; _

_and you did not help me!_

_ Ana_

_Do not wait for me. _

- _Was that my failure? She has told me to leave her alone… but then she is not with him… I saw the effect I still have on her… should I wait, maybe I should leave her alone!... Should I pursue her? … what kind of Dom are you, Grey?... forget her… I tried, for weeks, I tried._ He pinches the bridge of his nose and walks to his room.

Typically, Christian does not wrestle with feelings of rejection, jealousy and longing; he avoids them by controlling everything and isolating himself. He is not used to being shut down like this; he usually gets what he wants. He goes to his room and falls into an uneasy dreamless sleep.

~0~

The next few days are very busy for Ana; she moves to her new apartment. The idea of a blank canvas has Franco's twitching with excitement at all the possibilities. Ana listens to him with amusement shaking her head in disapproval. She still smiles at some of the more outrageous suggestions such as patterned walls and coppered ceilings.

She decides on a combination of whites, lilac and yellows – with Milo's help it looks romantic but not childish. She is actually feeling like a grown woman now.

Kate sent her the furniture from her bedroom back in Seattle along with the rest of her belongings; all of which are now in their proper places. When the time came, she chose white walls for her bedroom, grey and blue linens for her bed; any other color felt wrong – she is well aware that it reminds her of Christian; but she could not help it.

Sitting in her bed she skypes Kate "Hi"

"OMG, Ana! How are you?"

"Doing well; here let me show you my new apartment" and Ana walks around showing the rooms through the tiny camera "… my living room will be delivered in a few days, but look all my furniture is sitting in my new room now, see… THANKS" she says enthusiastically.

"Don't you be silly, of course!"

"I got a new tablet and a new iPhone"

"It is about time you joined this century"

"Yes the sales person helped me choose… it works just fine. How is Elliot?"

Elliot appears on camera "I am fine thanks for asking for me!" Ana expends some time listening to how great Elliot is and how lucky Kate is to have found him. Elliot says goodbye and leaves them alone. Ana knows how truly in love Kate and Elliot are, and cannot help the feelings of sadness, loss and emptiness that thinking of Christian brings.

"How about you two come some visit some time, I miss you"

"Sure, will love to"

They expend sometime talking about wedding plans, all the different pictures Kate has seen of Ana. When they finally address the topic Ana was hoping they'll avoid.

"I saw Christian was at the Met with you, Ana"

"It was a total surprise; I was so mad you have no idea! I wanted to hit him, I wanted to run…"

"You know he punched a hole in their parent's house when he saw a picture of you and boy toy"

"Alex is not my boy toy—and Christian did what?"

"Punched a hole into a wood door – he was so pissed!"

"That is because he loves you Ana; I know my brother and he loves you; I have never seen him loose control like that since we were teens" Elliot says walking into the room once again.

"He does not!" Ana counters.

"Of course he does; I bet you, you can get him to do anything, Ana."

"Leave her alone, Elliot, and she may want a go with Alex" Kate interrupts; and Elliot gets a goofy look "… what? What are you thinking" Kate insists.

"A sandwich… Ana can be the meat and Christian and Alex the bread… what do you say Ana? That way you do not need to make up your mind…" By this time Kate is punching Elliot and pushing him out of the room, apologizing to Ana off camera.

Once the commotion settles, Ana confides that she feels insecure about the gossip story that showed Alex, and her on their date and another picture of Christian and her at the graduation; finally all of them at the gala. The story makes her out to be a jezebel, playing both men at the same time. Before hanging up Kate told her she would try and sniff anything she could find about that horrible article. Then with assurances of seeing each other soon, they end their conversation.

~0~

Christian has decided to give Ana some time and then he will go and visit her to Franco's apartment. He again focuses on work, answering emails and teleconferencing. For some time he has been considering to expand GEH offices in NY and this is a perfect opportunity; he finds the time to concentrate on that expansion and finds that the new project is exactly what he needs to find control and focus.

He reads all of the stories written about Anastasia. Some are amusing, like the ones claiming she had breast reduction surgery.

Other stories are interesting how close they come to reality, like the one with the three of them, Anastasia in the middle, Alex and he at either side at the gala. She is looking straight to the camera, each of them looking at her. The story claims that there is a love triangle among them.

One story stands above the others though. It is downright mean and he hopes that Ana's modeling agency PR office go on the defensive. It claims the story is corroborated by an unnamed source. The story makes Ana to be a harlot, always after rich men; that she weaves a story of deception just to entrap them. One victim is no other than Christian Grey, Seattle's most eligible bachelor; the picture of him and Ana at the graduation is included. Her latest victim is Alex Muyron, one of the most sought after male super-models; there is a picture of Alex and Ana on their date. An article like this can affect the reputation of an up and coming model like Ana. He wonders if he should get his PR people involved. He thinks better of it and decides to ignore it.

~0~

Four days later, Christian is having breakfast; Mrs. Martinez is pretty good; still he prefers Ms. Jones. Mrs. Martinez busies herself cleaning the adjacent butler's pantry.

"Miss Steele is coming up, Sir" Taylor announces "I'll see her in"

"Ana? Ana is here?" Christian's heart is racing; he is excited and cannot help the big smile now plastered on his face.

"Taylor, good to see you!" Ana gives him a hug…

"Ms. Steele"

"Don't be so formal, Taylor!"

"I am glad you are well, Ms. Steele"

"I missed you too, Taylor, and call me Ana please"

Christian stands a few steps away from the elevator, waiting. As soon as the elevator opens, he sees her –_ she is mad!_

"Ana!" Christian takes her all in; she is walking in with authority and anger. She is wearing cute soft pink peek-toe-fuck-me-high-heel-shoes; he slowly moves his eyes up, he sees that she is wearing a silver dress that lands above the knee, it is not skin tight but he can see her shape – _hummm sexy_ - he is totally checking her out and does nothing to hide it. He cannot help but smile broadly.

They move closer to each other … and that is when it happens… she slaps him hard, screaming "Get _ that _ bitch _ on - a - leash!" she intones each word carefully and each word is loaded with anger.

Mrs. Martinez gasps loudly and when Christian's face turns to the side from the force of the slap, he sees Jason Taylor trying to hide a big grin but failing miserably _– the bastard!_

Jason takes his leave.

"hummm, can you enlighten me on what is going on?" Christian says with an amused tone – _she is here, she is finally here!_

"I mean it Christian; I swear it, this is my life, it is important to me. I'll get lawyers involved, or the press whatever it takes. I will not roll down and let you and that bitch walk all over me." She says in one breath and throws a picture followed by a folder to Christian.

"There in black and white… you cannot deny it… don't even try!"

Christian opens the file and scans the contents. There is the article he didn't like about Ana. Then, there are a few memos from Kavanagh media, and a photo of Elena and listed under connections – highlighted in yellow – 'Business partner to Christian Grey'. He scans the page and gets the just of it. Elena is the 'source' for the article. Christian's blood starts to boil; his anger always so close to the surface is barely controlled.

"That's your Mrs. Robinson…"

~0~TBC~0~

A/N: * Many thanks to KCat2005 for suggesting 15 CPW! I just assumed CG doesn't do neighbors so he got the whole floor.

** Several quotes jumped to my mind; the one CG uses seems to fit; it is attributed to W Somerset Maugham.

*** I felt like Ana needed a bigger reason than just a note to go visit CG; and she always sees red when Elena is involved. However, in this timeline she never went to Esclava and so did not know what Elena looks like; Ana is smart and deduced it anyway – thanks to Kate's investigating powers she even had a photo of the 'source' for the story.

- do tell, what is your opinion on this chapter?

… until next time… Thanks for reading!


	12. Chapter 12 friends

~ friends ~

"That's your Mrs. Robinson…"

"I have nothing to do with this" Christian says in a barely controlled voice "come let's sit"

She shakes her head, tentatively.

"Ana, please; let's sit, here…" and he extends his hand in invitation towards the breakfast bar "… and if you want to threaten someone you do not walk into their home and threaten with lawyers; you send the suits unannounced; which is exactly what I am going to do… I'll take care of this… please" He explains.

"Christian, I am working really hard on this. Don't ruin it for me." Her voice is betraying her insecurity. She sits at the breakfast bar, barely acknowledging Mrs. Martinez "I moved away, she is your -"

Mrs. Martinez starts to leave. Christian lifts his eyes to her "tea, please Mrs. Martinez" and continues to Ana "…First, Elena is no my anything. Second, I'll take care of it. Do not worry. Ok?" and he softly caress her hand "I am glad that you came."

"Don't distract me Christian; I am very upset."

"I can see that. Listen, I have nothing to do with this, don't you think better of me?" - _it hurts that you think so low of me._

Ana closes her eyes and breaths deeply. Yes, if she really thinks about it, Christian wouldn't do something so sneaky. She reaches for something to say and comes up with "your stalking tendencies know no bound…" she pauses for a little while and continues "…when did you buy this place?"

_-she is talking, that is a good sign…_

"5 years ago, before it was built …do not worry about Elena; I'll take care of it. Trust me?" Christian continues using a soft voice as if not to scare here away.

"Ok. I'll be leaving now."

"NO, no. I would like to talk. Is there someplace you must be?"

Mrs. Martinez sets up the tea and she leaves to give them privacy. She is bewildered that Mr. Grey just got slapped and he is sitting there calmly talking to the girl that did it –_ now I have seen everything and I guess he is not gay! Probably that girl is something special for her boss, and she thinks he did something with an Elena; wonder what that's about._

"Alright; I do have a few things to talk about" he says; she rolls her eyes "… are you rolling your eyes at me, Ms. Steele?" and without stopping he continues "I've missed that and your smart mouth..."

Ana just looks at her surroundings. Christian is wearing grey flannel pants and a white undershirt; his muscles protruding through the fabric. The apartment is magnificent, Christian definitely has taste. The NYC skyline is framed by floor to ceiling windows and doors. The glass doors lead to a terrace that overlooks the park; giving the penthouse a feeling of floating in the air; providing a refuge from the world beyond.

There are polished marble floors, and columns framing the entrance from the elevators. There are chandeliers all around, the walls are white and framed art is strategically placed; the furnishings would be at home in an ultra-modern museum.

The kitchen counters are black granite and the cupboards have glass doors and polished handles; they are made of some sort of exotic wood stained white. A Steinway black mahogany baby-grand takes center stage in the middle of the living room.

"How about we begin with you being a model!" he says it with amusement.

"Do not tease me, Christian!"

"No, actually I think it is pretty good. And you look so beautiful! In the ads; and right now… you are beautiful, Ana."

"Christian, I-" she drinks her tea just to do something.

"Have you eaten?"

"You do not need to feed me. I think I better go."

Christian stands up and touches his cheek. Ana murmurs a "sorry about that" and bites her lip.

"Friends?" he asks while tugging her lip with his thumb.

"Alright, friends" and she starts to walk away.

Christian catches her and gives her a hug, inhaling her scent. Ana wraps her arms around his waist and for an instant; she knows that if she twists her face just enough she would kiss him; but, she doesn't.

"I've missed you, Ana" Christian says once he untangles himself from her.

"I got to go, furniture is being delivered at my new place this afternoon …"

"You bought a place?"

"I am surprised you do not know" she says with a smirk.

"I am trying… I really am trying to turn a new leaf for you Ana."

"I did not buy it, I am leasing it, a small apartment, you know to start with. Nothing like this!"

"I am sure it is perfect. Where are you moving? Need help?"

"no, hummm" and for a fraction of a second she wonders if she should tell him, he will find out anyway. To buy some time, she points out "… nice place you got here…" and she heads towards the elevators.

Christian closes his eyes "Thanks" he says with sadness – _she won't tell me where she is moving to? I will find out anyway but it will be so much better coming from her._

"… 11 Riverside Drive #6"

With a bright smile he answers "that is like 10 minutes from here!"

"Yeah; I put a deposit as soon as I got the contract, few weeks back" she nods biting her lip again.

He tugs her lip free "… I'll take care of Elena; do not worry!"

Ana nods, "Friends!" she says as she steps into the elevator.

That is when Christian actually lets his impulse take over and at the last minute, he jumps into the elevator as well. He puts his hands behind his back and moves as close as possible to her without touching her. She just looks at him sporting a look of a cornered doe.

- _I want her, I really do, I can feel the electric current between us. She must be feeling it too. What can I do not to scare her away; she'll run away I know it; she always runs_. As usual his unhelpful inner Christian pipes _that is because you are one fucked up SOB, an scary one at that! She is smart and that is why she runs, for self-perservation._

He grabs the railing behind his back and leans very close to her, and in her ears whispers "make no mistake Ana, I want to be more than friends, but I will have you whichever way you want me"

He leans over and kisses her neck and licks her earlobe. Her breathing accelerates; she feels the electricity running through her body. She can feel his erection on her hips; he is grinding himself against her.

_what do I really want?_ she keeps asking herself all she knows is that she is feeling empowered because evidently he wants her, badly.

She slowly turns to look at him.

"I won't touch you, Ana, I won't do anything you do not want me to do" he still has his hands clasped behind his back.

_- I promise I will not fuck it up this time._

She looks down and his erection is obvious. "Regardless of what it looks like, I still have some self-control" he smirks.

_- I do not deserve her; I hurt girls like her for pleasure; I am a husk of a man, with no heart; but maybe with her there is hope for me yet._

At that instant she feels bold and she lets her womanly instincts take over; she wraps her hands around his waist and flips her hands into his flannel pants; she is expecting to find his boxer's elastic band.

She has no game plan all she knows is that she wants to touch him and maybe leave him panting.

"do not start somethinnnnngggg" his breath catches as she pulls down his pants. He reaches over and stops the elevator.

"Commando, Christian!"_ oh my! he is breathtaking, I want him that is all I want right now, I cannot resist any longer._

"I was not expecting company" he manages to say with a broken raspy voice.

She leans over and takes him all into her mouth – hummmm ummm good - his scent, his smell, his taste; she is doing this more for her than for him; she wants him and here he is – hummmm ummm good.

"Ana" it is a plea; _oh like that just like that, great_. "Do not stop, pleassssse, oh yes" he leans forward, crossing his arms in front of him, leaning his forehead against his forearms, and begins to thrust. His brain is empty, he cannot think. Only them two exist in this infinite moment; they are their own universe.

His face is scrunched up as if in pain, his heart racing, his insides clinching "I am about to – Oh Ana – now – Ahhhhhh – Ana, Annnnnnaaaa, My Ana."

~0~ TBC ~0~

… until next time… Thanks for reading!


	13. Chapter 13 A private elevator's secrets

**Happy New Year – 2013 is finally here!**

~ A private elevator's secrets ~

Christian pulls Ana up to a standing position, pushed against the left corner of the elevator; he kisses her with all his passion. He can taste himself on her lips; his arms engulf her and his Dom alter ego peaks through, he controls it but it is still there.

"Ana, open for me" he can smell her - _citrus and spring blossoms_; he can feel her skin – _soft and silky_. He inhales. "Tell me what you want."

"I – oh – Christian" all her walls are down, at this moment all she wants is him, and only he will do; she can barely string two words together "fuck me" she looks into his eyes, they look almost black.

"Fuck Ana; I wanted to hear those words for months now." He is pinching her nipples through her clothes.

"ugh?" _– just take me, now, I want you in me. _"yeahhhh" - _whatever you want just let me feel you now._

They are tangled together, panting, caressing and kissing. He picks her up against the railings, right at the corner where either side meets; a small part of her butt is resting on the railing as if it were a sit, her legs wrapped around his waist.

"Take me" she implores.

He is caressing her legs, up and down; the tips of his fingers moving in unison, making wide circles, moving up to the apex of her thighs. All the while telling her how beautiful she is and how desirable he finds her.

_- hope this won't push her away. She is asking for it, I cannot stop even if this elevator free falls, all I need is her, now. _

"We aim to please" _– yes my big buddy down south and I. _He pinches some more.

Christian is kissing her neck; she is resting her forehead on his right shoulder; his erection rubbing against her; only the thin material of her lacy thong stands between them.

Their tongues dance; he puts the yearning of all these past months into the kiss. She needs to know what she means to him.

"You smell so good, Ana, you are a natural beauty" he touches her folds, she is soft, velvety soft.

He stills and with a panty-dropping-smile exclaims "Well, well. Ms. Steele I think you have something to show me" he runs his fingers against her.

"I love that you waxed" he offers as way of explanation, both his hands cares her, her mound and folds "so soft" he growls and pinches her there.

_- She is wet, dripping wet, wanton for me._

"Damn I do not have a condom!" _I want to feel her warmth envelope me._

"We are covered, please, I need you; I want you" she is desirous, she needs release, she needs him, here and now. Hard and fast will do; right now; she pulls him into her with her legs; brining him closer. Her hips move of their own accord, up – down, gyrating against him begging.

He does not need to be told twice. He slowly, inch by inch goes in; he is putting all his longing into this; he is exorcising all the pain their separation has brought; he wants to erase the last time he took her into his playroom.

She softly bites his shoulder; he feels her teeth through the t-shirt he is wearing. His hands are tugging at her nipples through her dress. She is digging her nails into his biceps; scratching.

At one point her hand wanders right on the edge of the forbidden zone of his chest, not quite on his chest but not on the safe zone either. He feels panic, he feels pain, he decides it is pain he can tolerate, pain and pleasure with Ana and that is just the right combination.

Somehow she pushes outwards with force and he is now against the wall; he is holding her with one arm and with is free hand he tugs her hair extending her neck to him.

He loses the little control he had and starts thrusting fast and hard; she is delirious. They both reach their peaks at the same time breathing as if they just finished a marathon.

After a few minutes, or maybe an eternity, he pulls out and smiles softly, pulling her into her feet.

"I want to shout from the mountain tops that you have my heart" – _that you are mine and only mine._

"Whhhhhaaaat?"

"You are my more Ana."

"Yes" and she pulls his hair bringing him into a kiss that give infinite promises.

Then he pushes a few buttons to go up to his place once again.

"No" Ana protests "I really need to get going to my apartment" and playfully moves his hand to the correct button.

"I'll take you."

"No, I am taking a cab, like millions of New Yorkers do every day" she is pulling her dress down arranging herself, fixing her hair.

"Ana, you are one exasperating woman!" _she is so hard-headed! All so beautiful!_

"Christian!" she raises one eyebrow.

Christian remembers Flynn's words_ 'choose your battles!' _"Very well, to your apartment, via a cab, that is" and he smiles his mega-watt smile that makes most women melt on the spot. He grabs her hand and kisses her knuckles. "I cannot believe you are finally here" he admits. Once the elevator's doors open, Christian is holding Ana's hand as if it were his lifeline.

He leans over and says "What is it about elevators?" she giggles and he smiles at her.

_- I have missed that sound!_

There is a man waiting right outside the elevator and Christian gives him quick instructions in his ear. The man is obviously not happy, but does not counter Christian's instructions.

For the first time, probably in his life time, Christian does not care not having his wallet nor phone; he has all he needs and wants next to him – his Ana.

"Who is that?" she has not seen the man before.

"Security"

Once inside the cab, Ana gives the instructions of where to go. The cabbie recognizes Ana and goes on about his daughter, Betty, wanting to be a model as well. Betty would not believe that Ana actually toke his cab; and he goes on and on about all the times Betty has not believed him.

Usually, Christian would have put a stop to the ramblings; however, at this moment he could care less what the cabbie is saying, or doing.

Ana is nervous, and keeps thinking that she… _cannot be his sub; that will never happen… cannot allow him to beat me again, never, ever._

As the ride progresses, Christian's mood changes, to Ana, it seems like it is anger; however, if she could read his mind she would recognize the green eyed monster brewing inside him.

When he cannot stand it any longer, he asks the only thing that is in his mind "Why you lied?"

~0~ TBC ~0~

A/N: Thank you all for supporting this story. I have not yet read an elevator scene, which surprised me since elevators are brought up by E.L. James several times; I hope I did it justice.

- do tell, what is your opinion on this chapter? – I truly enjoy reading them.

… until next time… Thanks for reading!


	14. Chapter 14 some give & take

~ some give and take ~

"Say what?"

"Or if not Alex, then who?"

"What are you going on about, Christian?"

"You said you are covered – who you needed to be covered for" he says as if they were the foulest words in the world. His insides are melted with rage; it has taken all the control he has learned to not show how truly upset he really is.

The cabbie is still talking about his daughter oblivious of the discussion going on in the back.

"You are judging me? You, huh I do not even have words for it! I. am. a. model." and after seeing the confusion on his eyes she adds "it helps with periods" her eyes are small with anger "and right now I want to toss you out of this car!"

"The pill?" he inquires.

"IUD; it is easier when I have to put on clothes that are not mine."

He closes his eyes and continues "and the waxing?"

"Guarantees no strays during a bikini shoot. Ughhhh you are a world class a. r. s. Tell me Mr. Grey, does your apartment back there have a red room?"

"No. There is only one and the last occupant was you." He visibly relaxes and exhales – _but at what cost, she is upset, I went from Christian to Mr. Grey in a matter of seconds!_

After a while Ana giggles, "You are so jealous!"

"I do not share, Ana, remember that?"

"I don't either; you better remember that as well."

"Does that mean we are together?" he asks hopeful.

The cab comes to a full stop and Ana pays for the fair; Christian is trying his hardest to control his emotions, today has been a roller-coaster.

_- If she were his sub, she would be in his room, strapped to the cross and a cane against her back. It being Ana, that thought is abhorrent to him now._

Ana and Christian walk into her apartment. She gives him a tour, the apartment is painted with some yellows and some soft light lavender; somehow it does reflect her. It does have an aura of romance, not obvious, perhaps just a hint that someone that loves to read and likes heart and flowers lives here.

They enter through a gallery; to the left there is a good sized kitchen with granite counters, maple cabinets and tiles covering all the exposed walls; there is an angled window at the end of the long kitchen that overlooks other buildings nearby. There is a study off the kitchen that Ana explains can be used as a guest bedroom.

_- Immediately Christian dislike the idea of her having overnight guest without anyone else around._

Beyond, there is a living room, which at the moment is empty and at the end a large window that overlooks some trees and a quiet intersection bellow. There is a fireplace along one of the walls. Finally the master bedroom with a full bathroom is furnished with Ana's old furniture.

"Your apartment is nice, much better than my first apartment, and yours is in New York. Ana, you have done well."

A proud smile appears on her face – _she internally wonders why she needs his validation and reminds her self that she is supposed to be mad at him_.

At that point the delivery from the furniture store arrives. Nothing fancy, an overstuffed couch, some side tables, a love seat, and a small breakfast table with two chairs. The furniture is neither designer nor antique; just something she picked up at a big furniture warehouse so her apartment is not empty. They look nice, though.

She figures it is good enough for a while. Although, she is making good money now with her contract; she wants to be smart about it and save for a rainy day. She has learned her lesson, just because she has a job today, it doesn't mean she'll have one tomorrow.

She is distracted telling the movers to move the loveseat around, and she finally decides that the small eating table should go against the windows instead of the gallery; even though it is farther away from the kitchen. Christian tries to stay out of the way and hangs around the fireplace without saying a word. He wishes he could take over, bring a designer and call it done.

When the movers finally leave, it is just Christian and her alone in the apartment. "I am going to change, please make yourself comfortable." She instructs him.

"Christian" she calls out once she is done. He is seating on the floor, right in front of the fireplace.

"Ms. Steele!" he notices she is wearing tight black yoga pants and a bright pink t-shirt; as if she is about to hit a yoga class.

"Call me Ana; I am not your sub!"

"I am painfully aware of that"- _if you were my sub, you would be in my playroom not in your own fucking apartment in NY._

That is when Taylor delivers Christian's wallet, proper clothes, and phone; as well as a pizza, two tea cups and wine; he tells Christian he will be waiting in the building's security room; right after that, Christian dismisses him.

Taylor leaves thinking -_ boss is tense but not as tightly wound as he has been. Ana is leading him by his cock and the boss is none the wiser; she moves to NY; he follows. She shows up, boss acts as if he had a lobotomy. _

Christian grabs the pizza and brings it with him. With a big mega-watt smile; he starts setting the contents on the coffee table –_ I have waited too long to fuck this up!_

Finally Ana breaks the silence, "Why?" she asks.

"Why - What?"

"Why you fly from Seattle? Why are you here?"

"Try this, eat, I think it is good" his smile falters a little and then continues "to the point as always. I want you, I have missed you." _– you are mine and I want you._

She accepts the pear, onion and gorgonzola cheese pizza slice "what happened to just regular cheese, or peperoni pizza like normal people?"

"You don't like it?"

"Yes I do, just saying." and she takes another bite _– it is really good._

"I am not a sub, I cannot give you what you need." she continues after she swallows.

"Let me be the judge of that … you are what I need, what I want Anastasia."

After a little while she breaks the silence "Do you know what I was thinking, while she pointed a gun at me?"

Christian answers her rhetorical question with a whispered "no."

[A/N: this is straight from FSD:] "I thought… I thought… Seeing you with Leila, it was such a shock. I had a glimpse into how your life has been… and … It was an insight into your life… I'm afraid I'll end up like Leila…"

"Is that why you left?" he asked with a pained voice.

She nods and continues "I thought she looks like me."

Christian closes his eyes; she is way too smart she already made some kind of connection here.

"Do all your subs look like me?"

He nods, not sure where this is going -_ this day is definitely not going as planned; she should have her legs open for me._ The last thing he thought would happen is to be sitting here discussing his preferences on the physical attributes of his submissives; and worse yet, the reasons behind it.

Ana rubs her forehead with her right hand "Christian, I am going to tell you something you already know. I love you, and like the elevator shows you, I loose myself when you are near."

"Like wise Ms. Steele." He agrees with a smirk.

She continues as if he had said nothing "but I am not sub material; there are many women that look like me" she points to the door "and many of them are willing to be your …hummm subs… slaves… fuck-dolls" he cringes at her words "go find one of them, it would hurt me like you would not understand" she takes a deep breath "but that is better than losing my freedom, my self-worth, it is just not me; I won't let you hit me like that again."

_- Control Grey, you are here to listen to her and get her back. Control yourself, I want to make her understand, with a crop would be easier – no, no, stop it. Listen to her; talk to her, don't mess this up, don't mess this up._

"There is only one of you, Ana. If you only had safe worded…why didn't you safe-word?" he knows he said the wrong thing as soon as they came out of his mouth.

She is immediately standing and yelling "Do NOT put that burden on ME… it is not me; I am not the one on the wrong here."

"I do not want anyone else" he says truthfully running both hands on his hair _– he has had many a woman, and could walk out of here and in 15 minutes have one; he doesn't want any other though…_

"Why are you obsessed with me?"

- _is this an obsession? _His inner Christian asks. After a minute he answers, "it is not an obsession, you helped me find my heart and it wants you. The hart wants what the heart wants… no explanations…" she is about to interrupt so he puts his thumb on her lips "it is not just your looks, it is you, your personality, your will, your heart, your smart mouth, you."

… Silence …

"I know; you are right, it is not your fault" he continues, opening the bottle of Bellinger as he goes. He serves two tea cups offering her one. She grabs it and sets it down on the table; he drinks his cup full; thinking carefully what to say next "I should never listened to you; you know, when you wanted to know how bad it can get. You are untrained."

Ana interrupts "I am not a fucking show dog that needs training, Christian!"

– _this is not how he wanted it to go_

"I mean, I have years of experience on the life style, and had never been with a woman that was not in the same life style as me; they were either Subs or Doms or both. I should have known better." There is a pregnant pause so he continues "tell me something, do you want a regular vanilla relationship with no kinky fuckery at all?"

"I cannot believe you just said that"

"Well, yes I did. Now can you sit next to me and answer my question"

For some reason, she does sit next to him and answers truthfully "I like your kinky fuckery" she says looking at her finger nails.

"That is what I thought. So what don't you like?"

"The threat of cruel and unusual punishment"

"What does that mean?"

"Canes, whips, belts. Your enjoyment of causing me pain. You hitting me because I have crossed some arbitrary line that you dream up."

She eats another bite of pizza; she is eating because otherwise she would be crying and she doesn't want to cry.

… silence…

"They are not arbitrary" he exhales "I want more; with you and only you."

"What does that mean?"

"I want you to be my girlfriend."

"It won't work."

"You said you love me."

"I do, but it doesn't mean we can be together; we won't work out."

"You are the only one I ever wanted to have more with."

"You want me as a girlfriend during the week and as a sub in the weekends?"

_- She is negotiating! It must be a good sign, let's no fuck this up Grey_

"No; I have come to realize you do not have a sub bone in you… I want you as a full time girlfriend. No hitting you as punishment."

"I am not sure; I do not want to end up like Leila in a few years' time."

"You won't" _he hopes!_ "Sex, lots of it" he smirks "with kinky fuckery that you like… no punishments, no whips or belts or canes if you do not want them."

"Are you redefining the contract and hard limits?" – _because it is sounding pretty good, if I say yes will I get to have you right here right now? Her inner goddess is doing a striptease the slut!_

"no safe words at all either … I am new at this girlfriend thing… I am trying to figure out the parameters that's all. What do you say? Will you be my girlfriend?"

"My heart says yes, my minds says no" _– it is time to let him know how confusing this whole thing is._

"Listen to your heart; I won't do anything to you that you do not want me to do; I'll push your limits because that is how I am; but not beyond what you can take."

"What guarantee is there that this will work; we are from different worlds, Christian."

"I actually thought about that, we'll take it slow; see how it goes; we try and if you don't like something, we won't ever have to do it again. Some give and take I suppose."

"Like an official boyfriend with dates and stuff?"

"Yes"

Ana bites her lip "How about we start from the dates and go from there?" she smiles shyly and finally relaxes a little bit, resting her head on his shoulder.

"We'll go as fast or as slow as you want." _I do not deserve a second chance; having Ana in my arms is like an oasis in the desert, a cool place with fifty thousand palm trees and three hundred wells that provide me comfort from the hell that is my life. _Instead of saying those things to her; however, he starts rubbing circles on her calves, on her feet; he tickles her toes and kisses her knees.

~0~ TBC ~0~

A/N: Thank you all for supporting this story. Leave a review if you can – I truly enjoy reading them.

… until next time… Thanks for reading!


	15. Chapter 15 just a ride

UPS! re-upload to fix CG's apt location it is in Central Park West :)

A/N: I don't think I say it enough… thanks to all that have set favorites and follows, PMs, and reviews!

~ just a ride ~

Eventually Ana is so relaxed that Christian guides her head to his lap and rubs her shoulders, massaging in ever concentric circles around her spine.

"How is that?"

"hummm, great" – that's all he needs to know and carefully he pulls a pillow from the couch and rests her head facedown.

He sits on his knees. He moves his hands to opposite sides of her back, sliding his hands up to her shoulders; he crunches her t-shirt up to leave he back exposed. His fingers explore her back, his hands kneel her muscles.

_- she is so soft, molding under his expert hands… she is ready, she cannot say no… and it feels so good. _

He moves his large hands to the sides of her breast; she moans; he massages her right arm, then her left; her biceps are knotted so he expends some extra time there with a little more pressure; her moan is barely a whisper

_- seeing her like this, makes me stand at full mast, she is so beautiful, and those little noises she is making is driving me crazy._

He moves to her legs down her right, then down her left; he moves on the inside up her left leg to where it meets her torso. "How does this feel?"

"hummm, good" and she lifts her butt in encouragement.

He continues; he starts at her right foot and moves up her right leg on the inside just as he did to her left leg. He reaches her buttocks and massages them in concentric circles the cloth of her pants providing a barrier.

"Ana, can I stay?" _– are you asking, what the hell, Grey? _Christian the Dom asks.

"hummm, yes."

He then moves to her back again, up to her shoulders, up to her head; massaging her scalp. Her breathing has slowed; minutes have passed or maybe it is an eternity; she doesn't know and doesn't care… she has closed her eyes, enjoying the relaxing effect of the massage and she falls asleep.

_- don't fuck this up Grey, she is yours if you are careful … If she was his sub, he would have taken a whip to her for falling asleep without permission; he has needs and they have not been met. However, at this point, looking at Ana spread and asleep on the floor he does not feel rage or anger._

Christian texts Taylor "Staying the night. Be back around 11 a.m."

The reply is almost immediate "Yes, Sir." Taylor happily leaves the building - _About fucking time he gets someone nice that makes him happy; not like that bitch Elena! Talking about nice, I miss Gail._

Christian grabs a blanket and some pillows from Ana's bed; he lies next to her, pressing his need against her back just for a few seconds of friction.

_- Funny thing, he has many beds he could be sleeping on, there is a bed a few steps away, his penthouse in Seattle, his place in Aspen and his apartment in Central Park West__; yet he is here on a makeshift bed by the fireplace in Ana's apartment._

Soon he falls into a dreamless sleep right there on the floor with Ana; throbbing with desire for her and there is no other place in the universe he would rather be… After a few hours of the best sleep he has had in months if not years, he wakes up to a still sleeping Ana; he gets up and walks to the still empty guest bedroom.

Christian dials and the call is answered on the second ring; it is 9:00 pm in Seattle.

"Welch here"

"Welch, I need you to check something for me"

Welch listens carefully as Christian asks for all details that can be found around the paparazzi story; and it should include verification of any of the sources and background on anyone involved.

"A. S. A. P."

Christian hangs up without saying good bye. He places one more call; it is answered on a second ring as well, by an older man with brown and grey hair.

"Mr. Grey, what a pleasure" – Mr. Perris Sr. partner at Orrick's Seattle provides as way of greetings.

"Mark, I need you to prepare some documents for me, sit tight and do not act on them until I tell you. Outmost discretion is needed."

"Absolutely, would you like me to stop by your office to discuss?" – It is not an uncommon request coming from Christian Grey. What is uncommon is a personal call.

"I am out of state; I am ready to discuss now" it is not a request.

"Absolutely, let me take some notes here" - _unless Mark is in litigation, he is always available for Grey_.

After a long conversation, Christian goes back to the blankets by the fireplace, where Ana is sound as sleep.

Christian wakes up to Ana being in his arms; he has not have a descent night's sleep in months; the only time he has a good night sleep is when she is next to him _– and that is where she belongs, every night, just like this, right next to him._

"Good morning sleepy head!"

"hummmm" is all Ana can respond with, still fuzzy with sleep - _Christian is smiling at me, I must be dreaming_.

She sits up, and the events of the night came back to her; they were on the floor; he was massaging her and it was exotic, and relaxing and… oh she fell asleep… it was so nice "wh-what time is it?"

"8:30 a.m."

"Oh man, oh man, I am going to be late!"

Christian smiles, while she rushes to get ready. He picks up the blankets and pillows that served as their bed for the night, folding them carefully and setting them on her bed. Ana comes back brushing her hair.

She is wearing a pair of tight black jeans, a white button blouse, and black high heel ankle boots. She looks extremely hot _– he is getting hot under the collar – fuck me!_

"Alex will be here in like a few minutes"

"What!" –_ that was like being dunked in an ice bath._

"I'll be going, and I think I'll be back by like 4."

"Wait a minute, you are leaving with him?"

"We have a shoot; he is giving me a lift."

"No. I can give you a ride, Ana!" Christian is obviously upset.

_- No fucking way she is leaving with that man, he wants her!_

"Christian, I am going to a photo shoot, I will be back at 4; you can text me if you want but cell phones are not allowed while shooting so I may not answer for a while."

"I am going with you" he says like a petulant five year old.

"You can come, to the photo-shoot, and observe." She grabs a piece of paper and writes down the address.

_- No way, no fucking way! I got to fix this. He runs both hands on his hair, pulling as he goes._

He does not grab the paper.

"I'll buy you a car for the future; no more rides from men that want in your panties, Anastasia."

"If I need a car, I'll buy myself a car; besides, I do not want a submissive special."

"What?"

"Red Audi, right?"

"That was a graduation present."

"Did you buy a car for each of your subs?"

"Yes."

"Audis?"

"Yes."

"What color?"

"Red."

"No sub-special for me!" she says pointing a finger at him.

She rolls her eyes and walks toward the front door since it is ringing.

"Do not make a scene, Christian!" She warns as she goes to open the door; as expected she greets Alex and lets him into the apartment. She walks him through giving him a small tour.

_- Good at least, it is obvious that the fucker hasn't been here before! _

"… and that door right there goes to the bedroom" she says when they arrive to the living room – she notices that Christian has gone missing.

As if that was his cue, Christian comes out of the bedroom, a white linen dress shirt on, zipping his black trousers and putting his belt on, sporting a 'just fucked' look, along with tussled hair and a smile on his face.

Christian has a satisfied look, all handsome and the message is clear; 'I expend the night, she is mine! Step back.'

_- Oh fifty you are such a child!_

"Mr. Muyron" Christian says extending his hand.

"I'm Alex, nice to see you again."

_- Yeah right._ Christian brings his CEO impassive face.

"I understand you will be giving us a ride; I would like to see what all goes on in one of these sessions." It is a statement rather than a question.

"Oh; I brought my bike!" Alex answers honestly "perhaps next time."

"You are not getting on a bike, it is not safe!" he looks impassively at her _- It'll be a cold day in hell. _

She turns and hands him the address, "get Taylor, meet us there and you can give me a ride back." Then she gives him a kiss on the mouth and leaves "I'll be waiting for you!" She grabs a red leather jacket and walks out of her apartment.

However, Christian follows saying that he needs to make sure it is safe. While walking, Christian texts Taylor two words 'come now.'

Alex has parked at Ana's parking bay so the trio makes their way to the lower level. Once they arrive, Christian does a double take to the silver MV Agusta F4 1000 R 312.

"Don't" he whispers in her ear.

"It is just a ride. I love you!" she answers and puts on a helmet as she seats on the bike. Alex is already set to go, his own helmet on. He turns on the engine and drives away.

The engine's sound has a distinctive raw hard edge to it; Ana leans over and wraps her arms around Alex's hard abdomen. She can feel the hard muscles on his back constrict _– oh!_

She can feel the vibrations run through her body – _oh my… this is something else._

"How are you holding on, love?"

_- Oh we can talk? Can he hear her ragged breath?_

"Don't be nervous" he reassures her.

She is swopping wet _- Are you kidding me?_

"I-I am fine, re-really"

"Let me take the long way there and I show you what this baby can do. Are you game?"

"Oh, won't we be late?"

He laughs a belly laugh "No" and he speeds.

"Ok."

They cross the George Washington Bridge across the Hudson River; it is truly a nice ride. Then they speed. It is fall, perfect weather for a bike ride. The machine between her legs is making her throb; she involuntarily rubs against the seat just for some friction _– ohhhhh!_

He grips the handle and accelerates. She kinds of slid closer and pulls tighter; she closes her eyes.

_The bite of a spank would be welcome right now – Christian, I want you._ She inhales. _A pinch, a pull, oh please, fifty!_ The engine roars and she feels the vibrations. _More, more please_. She internally begs.

"What do you think of the view?" he asks hopefully.

"Oh this is great, thanks! Can you talk to me, I am a bit nervous" she hopes that helps cover what is really going on.

_- fast, fast, go, yes, ohhh, ahhh._ The coil in her belly comes undone.

"Sure thing" and he goes on telling her about the route and how far they could go if they really had time; however, it is time to head back.

Her eyes are rolling into her head and finally she can breathe again. "Thanks for talking to me; it really helps."

He goes on talking about the different bridges and lookout spots up ahead.

He slows down since they are entering the city again. There is the sound of traffic, the change on speed send shivers through her.

"Are you sure you are OK, love?"

"Yes, I am perfectly fine. This is awesome! I truly am enjoying this."

"We are here!"

Her legs are wobbly, she can barely walk.

"Thanks for the ride, it was great! And your bike is something else!"

"Sure thing, I thought you were nervous a bit there."

"Yes, but I finally got a handle. We should do it again sometime."

"Will your boyfriend allow it?" he says pointing to a sulking Christian waiting in the distance.

~0~ TBC ~0~

A/N: Thank you all for supporting this story. Leave a review if you can – I truly enjoy reading them.… until next time… Thanks for reading!


	16. Chapter 16 furie et amour

A/N: Please notice the change in rating.. **M** ... thank you guest for suggesting it... I have been thinking about it but have tried to maintain the previous rating, alas, apparently I cannot stay away from some smut. Please be a responsible reader... I will keep it at the same level as I have thus far; I just do not want to anger anyone about ratings : )

~ furie et amour ~

Christian is livid; the first thing he does is call Taylor. He answers on the first ring.

"Taylor, pick me up now" Christian barks at the phone.

"On our way" _- I thought a night with the missus would have loosened the boss some!_

The next thing Christian does is call Dr. Flynn.

"Mr. Grey, how are you doing this morning?" it is breakfast time in Seattle.

"She is not being safe!" Christian can barely contain his rage; he is pacing around the parking areas and pulling on his hair.

"Ana?"

"She left; she went with him on a bike ride."

After Flynn finally is able to get the story straight; he can barely contain a laugh. Christian knows the good doctor is amused.

"Seems like she is acting as any normal 21 year old, Christian."

"She is not being safe. This is why I like control. She gave me a kiss and told me she loved me, then she fucking left, got on a fucking motorcycle."

"How does that make you feel?"

"Pissed"

"and"

"I want to fucking well you know; she left me, she didn't listen to me, she disrespected me, she is being unsafe."

"If you follow through with those feelings, what would happen?"  
"I won't do it. I just think about it, but will not do it."

"What if you do? What would happen?"

"She would leave me for real. She would run yet again."

"How did she disrespect you?"

"She did not listen to me."

"Does she know this fellow?"

"Yes, they seem to be friends; they went out on a few dates."

"But she kissed you in front of him."

"Yes."

"So, she kissed you, told you she loves you, and went on a bike ride with a friend?"

"Yes."

"I do not see anything wrong with that, Christian"

"But she didn't listen."

"She listened, considered your request and she chose to do something different. That is what normal women do." Christian is just listening so the doctor continues "normal women make up their own minds. Maybe she already had these plans and did not want to change them? Maybe she wants you to show her that your trust in her?" he offers.

"I do not know what to do."

He receives a text 'we are out front, Sir." Christian makes her way to the front of the building from the basement parking spaces, still listening to his therapist.

"Ask her how she liked the trip. Express your concerns about her safety, talk."

"It is difficult"

Christian reaches the SUV and directs Taylor to stop back to his apartment first and then they'll be going "there" he indicates giving the paper with the directions to Taylor. He is still on the phone with Dr. Flynn.

"Maybe you can punch a boxing bag; train for a marathon; find an outlet Christian"

"I am at the edge of an abysm."

"Women can often make men feel like that; has been happening for centuries!"

"I have to go."

"Call me anytime, Christian, you may think you are not making progress, but you are, by leaps and bounds."

Christian hangs up_ - I hurt her; the only one I ever wanted more with; I won't hurt her again … but she needs to know, she just doesn't walk away… oh fuck… if she was my sub I know what I would do… yeah you would terminate the contract without a second glance… she is not a sub… there is no contract to be terminated… there is no whip or cane…_

Finally, when they arrive to his penthouse, Christian walks purposely into his bedroom; finds what he is looking for and just as deliberately, he is back out and on his way to his car. Taylor and Reynolds just exchange looks and follow suit.

_- she smart, she is asserting her independence, she is being 21! You need to sort out your shit… yes I do… will she run? She always runs… she runs when playtime is too intense, she runs when Leila pulls a gun… she runs… well can you blame her? … fuck _he runs both hands on his hair _what if I drive her away, yet again?_ And his inner Christian replies _what kind of Dom are you?_

They finally arrive to 27th street, in the middle of the Flower District; Cult Studios is a large open space; it has makeup and wardrobe areas. He waits for Ana, right at the front door. Taylor stays with Christian while Reynolds does a security sweep.

"Christian!" Ana's voice calls "Guess what?"

"How was it?" Christian asks; his tone curt.

"It was amazing" she is smiling broadly; she wraps her arm around his and as soon as she looks into his eyes, her smile fails.

"You defied me, Ana, what shall I do with you?" he asks, barely a whisper into her ear.

"Safe and sound, as promised" says Alex; Christian nods.

"We went over a bridge" she says simply.

"Over the George Washington Bridge" Alex explains unaware of the dynamics going on with Ana and Christian.

Ana continues the story "pretty views and Alex says there are picnic areas that way" she offers.

"Hi Taylor, nice to see you again. This is my friend Alex."

_- Ah, that is the reason the boss is so enraged. Little missus has a friend._

Taylor and Alex exchange pleasantries and a small woman that moves around like a flying little bird approach them.

"Julie. This is Christian and Taylor; they will be hanging around to see the shoot." Ana introduces them to the coordinator.

"Julie, where will I be today?" _– I know I need to talk to fifty in private, he is about to explode._

"You are on 5, the last down the corridor. Alex you are on 2." With that, Julie leaves with Alex and saying that she will meet Ana in 15 minutes.

Ana grabs Christian's hand and brings him into what can only be her dressing room. She barely looks at Christian through her eyelashes, bites her lip and locks the door.

_- I am rooting for you boss; do not fuck it up, now._ Taylor's eyes are alight with hope and he walks around the perimeter checking the layout, figuring out what is going on, what is expected, and catching up with Reynolds.

"What are you doing Ms. Steele?" _– I can feel the electricity flow between us._

Ana just raises an eyebrow and she see Christian the Dom alter ego come out full mode right in front of her eyes.

"Stay still, do not say a word" he says in a cool controlled voice and starts unbuttoning her blouse "You disrespected me" now her blouse is completely opened "and defied me" he pulls her bra down exposing her nipples. He leans down sucks and bites one while pulling the other.

"humm" - there is an electric current going through, her breathing is erratic.

"Shhhhhh" Christian flicks her extended nipples "I told you to be quiet" his hands move down her torso and unzips her pants "you were a naughty, naughty girl" he pulls down her pants "and you frustrate me" he pulls down her silk panties "on purpose."

He stands up and kisses her; he pulls a little oval object from his pocket "this is new; I bought it for us, for you." It is about an inch and a half long; and at its widest about three fingers wide. He makes sure she is looking at him when he sucks it.

"Wh-what is that?"

"A vibrator; now close your eyes."

"Please, Sir, I want you now" - _Oh my, oh my_. She is shaking, wanton, desirous. _Please take me right now_ is the only thing Ana can think about "not a toy!"

"Shhhhh, be quiet" he demands while pulling her legs apart "Always ready for me" he french-kisses the apex between her tights; he inserts one, two fingers, in out; touching her all around. Then he pushes the vibrator inside her.

"There, all done" he declares while he puts her clothes just the way she had them before; he sucks his fingers as if they were covered with a delicious sauce or maybe chocolate.

"Hummm, no, not done yet; please" she begs and he smiles giving her a chaste kiss "you are no going thermonuclear on me?" she asks.

"I am trying, really I am, so no" he smiles his megawatt smile.

"Thanks! But I am totally frustrated!" her eyes widen and she moans.

Christian shows her a wireless remote, "this" he says turning up the settings "works up to 38 feet away" she bites her lip "and you will find out today how frustrated you make me feel."

"Christian, I need to work!" she wines; he increases the settings "Oh, Christian, this is no fair!" he lower the settings and she does not feel anything.

"I cannot even hear it!" she exclaims "but it feels oh so good."

"That is the idea."

"Give me that!" she demands.

"No, no" he says with a playful tone.

"How about a hard quick fuck, huh what do you say?" she asks seductively biting her lower lip.

"I do not think so" he kisses her with passion while turning up the settings and then lowering them down.

After a minute or so of silence, he adds "you and Alex seem to get along well."

"He is not… my type."

"Oh, how come?"

"My type has grey eyes and copper hair and a smile that makes me melt."

"Oh, lucky bastard!"

"Yes, and he is fine with me being…well me." They smile and soon there is a knock on the door; Ana goes to go get her hair done.

Soon, Julie guides Christian, Taylor and Reynolds to an area that seems chaotic, it looks like a wide open flat; there are cords all over, lights set at odd angles, there is an off white couch in the center of a white canvas. People are walking about, moving things here and there; someone is yelling instructions and seems very frustrated as if things are not to his standards. Christian can relate.

They are offered a row of stools by the windows and instructed to stay outside the white area which covers a whole wall and curves to the floor. Shadows are formed by the lights and post.

His phone rings, "Grey" he answers pacing around the windows.

"Mr. Grey, I just send you an email with some prelim findings on that story you requested, Sir"

"Who is the source?"

"That I have not found out, Sir, I can tell you that the paparazzo called every one of your businesses though, GHE, SIP, Esclava, even the clubs."

"Very well, call me as soon as you have more information, regardless of the time"

"Ye-" Christian hangs up before Welch has time to finish his answer.

About 30 minutes passes, Reynolds has gone for a coffee run to the coffee house downstairs. Christian has read the email and has placed a few business calls. His phone rings once more.

"Yes."

"Hello to you to, darling."

"What do you want, Elena."

_- fuck, boss, do. Not. Answer. Her. Fucking. Call. At least not when the missus is around. You are an idiot! _Taylor shakes his head and walks away.

"Are you still in New York? I waited for you for dinner last night."

_- oh, he forgot their standing monthly dinner date, he was with Ana; he has been meaning to cancel them anyway._

"What do you want?"  
"Are you still after that mousy-thing, Christian, she left you; why pursue her?"

"It is none of your business."

"I do not understand, I do not understand the appeal, she is in all the magazines that have been arriving to the salons; in US and People; everywhere..." she sounds very un-Elena like.

"Remember our last conversation?" he asks losing patience.

"Yes."

"Well just to remind you and listen very carefully, leave her alone. In terms that you can understand, it is a hard limit, not an empty threat; do not test me!"

"Oh, darlin-" again Christian hangs up before the sentence is finished.

He walks over to find his Ana. He finally finds her; she is having her hair done while wearing a terry cloth robe. Alex is nearby, two women are brushing makeup on his face and torso.

Christian smiles at Ana; just looking at her relaxes him. She smiles wide when she sees him and he finds peace, a refuge from the preceding calls.

~0~ TBC ~0~

… until next time… Thanks for reading!


	17. Chapter 18 first date

~ first date ~

It is high afternoon; the sunlight is creeping into the bedroom, a gentle breeze cooling the room. The soft covers caressing her back, Christian's scent intoxicating her senses.

Christian is looking into her ocean blue eyes with adoration "you are my more, Anastasia" he lowers his face and places soft kisses between her breasts "you are so lovely" he wants her, all of her; he swiftly turns her over and caresses her soft skin "you have a delectable derrière" he pulls her hips up and kisses her.

_- Be careful Grey, she asked for this, but she will run if we hurt her. Make it pleasurable, maybe 3 just 3; I can keep my control with 3. She will leave she will run for sure…. No she won't… just 3._

He sits on the edge of the bed and drapes her across his lap; two hard spanks are followed by more sensual caresses "Is this what you were looking for, Ms. Steele?"

Ana knows that voice, the voice that Dominant Christian uses; "Yes, please, oh yes."

He turns the vibrator to its lowest setting; slap-slap-slap.

"Is this what you want?"

"Yes, it is. I need you, Christian" she looks over her shoulder, his power rousing her beyond imagination.

"Mine. You. Are. Mine" he wants her like no one else before. He is full of perverted desires for her; yet her like this satisfies him beyond anything else. slap-slap-slap, hard three times; her alabaster skin is a striking shade of pink.

"Yes"

"Tell me you are mine" he demands "tell me you won't leave me" he caresses the soft mounds of her butt, moving his hands all over her lower back and down again.

_- is that what worries him, me leaving?_

"I love you, and I am not going anywhere" she assures him "I am yours"

"Mine"

She is writhing with pleasure and desire, zip-zip. He inserts one finger then two more; she is dripping wet; his fingers moving around until he finds what he was looking for and removes the vibrator. She craves his touch; another hard slap and she screams; maybe from need, maybe from the sting.

"Ready for me, Anastasia" he will never tire of calling her name – she doesn't know, but he never called anyone's name while fucking. Elena was mistress, the others he called them by their last names, always keeping them at an emotional distance. She is in all fours expectantly; in he goes, as far in as she can take him. He circles his hips, he thrust hard; he slows down and speeds up.

"Ahhhh" that is what she wanted, what she needs.

"You are so gorgeous. You are made for me, only for me. Come, Anastasia, for me."

"I want to, but - " she doesn't know what to say, it is hard to form a sentence.

"Yes, you can" he demands; he thrusts, just at the right tempo, at the right angle.

_- How does he know how to do that?_

"Ahhhhh" she finally let herself go, and with a grunt, Christian soon follows.

After a few hours they both are sated; with a relaxed gaze and caressing his hair, she asks "Where are we going tonight?"

Christian is using her stomach as a pillow; "On a date"

"and what would this date entail, exactly?"

"It is a surprise, you'll see, I hope you like it"

"I need to know details, what shall I wear"

"Casual, just jeans and a shirt, or maybe a casual dress… maybe Taylor should just get you something"

"no"

"Ana, I want to. It is something I like to do –"

"Listen!" she raises herself on her elbows ; his face rolls bellow her bellybutton "by contract I must wear Costa or Calvin Klein" she reaches to her blouse nearby "see" she points to 'MC' on the collar rather than the typical tag with a size in it; "Milo's assistant even adds my initials right next to his" right there and yes there is an 'AS' right next to MC.

"O. K. but why will you sign a contract that limits you like that?"

She raises an eyebrow "really, you are asking me that?"

"Good point, well made, Ms. Steele."

"Simple, they do not want me to be photographed wearing the competition's clothes; I figured it made sense and I do not have to worry what to buy. It is a win-win for all involved."

He kisses her.

"I want to stop by my apartment and change"

"You look fine, just like this" he reaches over and teases her nipple "but in public just wear the same clothes you had on earlier; they are just fine."

"I insist; I want to shower and change."

"Very well; Taylor can take you to your place. I'll pick you up, say 6:00?"

"That works"

Once back in her apartment Ana takes a shower, and gets ready. She is in Skype with Kate when Christian arrives.

"Hold on Kate, I think he is here"

"Are you sure you want to go out with him, Ana?"

"For the last time, Kate, yes; be nice please, and stay on I'll be right back"

She lets Christian into her apartment and directs him to the seating-room where she resumes talking with Kate.

"Here Christian, say 'hi' to Kate" Ana moves the laptop so he is in view of the camera.

"Hello" he says dryly, standing next to the fireplace looking like he just stepped off GQ magazine.

After a few goodbyes and talk you soon; Ana is finally ready to leave.

"I see you got a n iPhone and tablet PC" Christian observes.

"Yes, I bought them a few weeks ago, I really like them. It is even set up to read all my email accounts, including the ones from the modeling agency, see" and flips the tablet and shows him.

"The blackberry and iPad I bought you are still waiting for you back home" he answers sadly, like a lost puppy.

_- she even has replaced my gifts.. she was planning in never coming back to me…. and why would she? _

She hopes her smile is reassuring "I think I am ready for our date Mr. Grey, where are we going?"

And with that, his look changes to anticipation "You'll see" he says with a smirk.

They start by walking around Madison Avenue; Taylor and Reynolds walking behind them. The security team did not like the idea of a walk in the middle of New York but Christian insisted.

_– normal… he wants a normal day. Let it be said that in the life of Christian Grey he had one normal day. He wants to be a 27 year old, that had mind blowing sex with his hot girl; then, he takes her on a date in the City, they walk, look at old and historical buildings and shops, and eat at a nice quiet restaurant, isn't that what normal people do? _

So the security team decides that at the very least there should be a nearby SUV to provide an easy escape; it is a challenge in New York. The plan is flawed and makes Reynolds and Taylor jumpy and uneasy. Being a multi-billionaire makes Christian an easy target.

Lower level threats include an over-zealous admirer trying to get close; paparazzi trying to get pictures; women throwing themselves at him, for a night or an hour or even just a touch. A social climber will go up a few notches if she is simply pictured with Mr. money-bags. A desperate girl will have a boost from simply being noticed by Mr. good-looks; add ex-subs to the mix makes it even more complicated.

Kidnapping is another obvious threat; his company would pay handsomely for his return. Ransom for Mr. Christian Grey, CEO could fund an army of mercenaries or even pay off the national debt of a small country.

A murder or an assassination attempt is another threat always lurking in the shadows. Closing plants and businesses, friends do not make. Some crazy disgruntled employee or associate may want to get even; or maybe just a stab from a total stranger that wants to see his or her face on the news and papers.

However, what worries Christian the most is Ana. Her being with him makes her a target. Anyone can guess he would give anything for her safe return; it would devastate him if she is harmed in anyway because of him. He instructed his team to protect her at all costs, even his own life – his life has no meaning nothing would matter, without her.

"You look beautiful, Anastasia, you always do" he holds her hand kissing her knuckles; she responds with a shy smile. She is wearing a blue wrap dress that matches her eyes; simple make-up and black boots with spiked heels.

"You are not too bad yourself" she replies with a smile that brings him to his knees. He is wearing expensive shoes that match an equally expensive belt; he has on black leather jacket and trousers, a white shirt, and no tie. His hair is unruly as usual; it is a simple, and elegant look "Where are we going?" she asks yet again.

"You'll see" he smiles as he points out buildings nearby. People are walking passing through, always in a hurry, there are cars and buses and taxis; police cars and sirens can be heard amid honking and talking and yelling; the busy life of the city flies by, while they walk hand in hand towards an unknown destination.

After a little while, Christian declares "here we are, Ms. Steele" he opens a glass door, his eyes alight with expectation.

She looks up and reads 'Bauman Rare Book' in big letters above the glass doors. The building looks like it was built of big grey Lego blocks. The inside looks like a library, with dark mahogany shelves full of books. Ana's hair is standing up with anticipation.

"Natalia!" Christian greets a blond woman with a messy bun.

The woman Natalia walks over and gives him a quick hug "Mr. Grey; it is so wonderful to see you again"

"This is my Ana, Anastasia Steele" it is obvious that just saying her name makes him happy "and this is Natalia Boggs, she is one of the owners of this fine place."

"Hello" is all Ana can say; she feels like a kid in a candy store; her hand is moving inches above a book as if she was caressing it "I am speechless, can I look around?"

"Nice to meet you Ms. Steele; here let me show you around" Natalia offers and Ana eagerly accepts. There are rare history books, literary masterpieces, children and medical and architectural works. They have it all; Ana smiles, she looks enthralled and loses herself among the works of printed art. "Is everything for sale? Where do you get them? How do you put a price to these?"

_- … and she loves it, I knew it! The English Lit mayor is still there._

Christian notices her looking speechless at a pale book with red imprinted letters on the cover, her hands caressing the book lovingly. She opens the book and her eyes go wide and bright, she is holding her breath.

"When I was little, my dad, Ray, bought me a tattered old copy of this book from a garage sale for $1.50; I used to fall asleep reading it" she explains with a smile and moves on. He looks at the title 'The Happy Prince and Other Tales.'

Christian keeps looking after her, but during the rest of the time, she does no linger on anything else.

"Let me buy you that book?"

"Oh no, Christian, it is enough that I actually had it in my hands!" she says enthusiastically "It truly made my day, no my week!"

_- she still resists my presents_

Finally they leave and walk over to a restaurant with a blue overhang. It is an open bright space; there are crystal chandeliers and murals all around. As soon as they walk in, they are ushered to a small intimate table; the mural next to them is of a young child floating in clouds reaching over to caress a dog. It is hard to know if it is a girl or a boy, the chubby cheeks and messy hair is visible through what could be a watery mist.

"Oh, Christian, that was fantastic; thank you; thank you for bringing me!"

_- I bet it is better than Alex's sushi date! _He wants to ask her but thinks better of it.

They are sitting down at the 'Caviar Russe.' She doesn't know what to order; the menu does not have prices next to the list of odd named entries, so she decides to let Christian order for both of them.

_- She looks so care free, happy and relaxed; enthusiastic even. She enjoyed those old books; if that is the reaction I get, I would buy the whole place for her. She is happy, by just looking at the books, no need to buy them; and that is exactly why he wants to; maybe just one, as to not overwhelm her. A boy can buy a book for his date, can't he? _

Christian orders; he knows exactly what he wants, champagne, parsnip soup, risotto, caviar, suckling pig, and caramel brittle. She thinks the staff could be friendlier but it does not seem to face Christian; she follows his lead. Besides, all she can think and talk about are the different books they just looked through.

She had to talk him out of buying everything and anything she showed an interest in. She finally relented and let him buy that copy of "The Happy Prince and Other Tales" by Oscar Wilde, a first edition which is now carefully packed waiting in the SUV.

"Tell me about your book?"

She tells him there are several stories and her favorite is "the selfish giant and his garden. Once there was a selfish giant, not liking children playing in his garden he builds a wall, winter comes and last a long time. The children though, find a way into the garden and spring returns. One day the giant helps a small child climb a tree; the child kisses him and becomes the giant's favorite. Eventually, the giant understands that it is the children the ones that bring spring and flowers and fruit; he softens and lets the children into the garden once more. Through the years, the giant looks for the child to no avail; the tree and part of the garden never blooms and it pains the giant. Once the giant is old and feeble the child comes back to visit once more. With his visit the part of the garden that has not flowered is full of life. The child now has injuries that the giant does not understand and the giant gets angry and wants to take revenge on those that harmed the child; though, it is the child, injured and all, which leads the giant into paradise."

He listens, without interruption, as if she is telling him the secret to the universe_ - he can imagine a little Ana reading about a giant, a child, and a garden. He can see the passion she has, he can see the English mayor in her, no the hot-shot model, but the bookish girl that fell into his office and his life. Maybe just maybe they find paradise together._

They finished their dinner, Ana still gushing over the books; Christian is beaming, he looks his age, his troubles long ago forgotten. He likes Ana, and her stories; she makes him forget all the troubles that usually swirl around in his mind.

_- he doesn't deserve her, but he cannot stay away from here. Do not mess this up Grey! Show her she can have normal, and dates, and his heart if so she wishes._

Back at Christian's apartment, Ana has already gotten ready for bed using one of Christian's t-shirts as a night dress.

"Well Ms. Steele, how was that for a first date?"

"I cannot believe that you bought this"

"I want you to remember us, just like today, every time you see it"

She plans on leaving the book on the night stand and reading it before falling asleep at night. She will not take that book to her apartment, or out of this apartment for that matter. It could get ruined, stolen or lost. "Loved it, thank you" she is clutching the book close to her chest. They kiss chastely.

Christian smiles and seats nearby; he is looking over some spreadsheets with numbers and graphs; no really concentrating much, his mind running over and over on the day's events.

His phone rings; he looks at the caller ID and rolls his eyes.

"Grey" Christian answers curtly; one night, he wanted one night without interruptions with his girl, let the fantasy of 'normal' last a little longer.

"Mr. Grey" Ros' disembodied voice starts "Taiwan..."

"Hold on, Ros" Christian stands up, gives Ana a small kiss on the forehead "I need to take this, I'll be in my office" and he walks away.

~0~ TBC ~0~

A/N: Yes, yes… I know… to the rest of us $60k books and Russian caviar a 'normal' date does not make : )

… until next time… Thanks for reading!


	18. Chapter 18

**Hello readers,**

**Yes, this story is completed, and yes there used to be other chapter(s). If you are wondering what happened to those chapters, well, I removed them. See, my stories were being plagiarized, I have been on a quest to have them removed from unauthorized blogs, and I decided to just leave enough of the story for a sample of the content here in .**

**I really appreciate the support all of you have provided me and I hate that some bad apples are spoiling the experience for all of us. I have not made a decision if I will post any more content from here on out. **

**Also, notice that all follows and favorites are now gone. I am sorry for that, it was my fault and there is no way to restore them.**

**If you would like to know any more, do not hesitate to PM. Also you can visit my blog in tumblr, where I post images and pictures of anything that catches my eye – at the moment I am not planning on posting story content there.**

**The main blog is: ****justapennameforme .tumblr .com **and from there you can navigate to the individual story pages for the corresponding images. 

****NOTE: there are no stories posted in tumblr, only images. I need to figure out a way to post content and minimize ****plagiarism; if you have suggestions let me know!**  


**Thank you very much for being part of my writer's journey.**

**Jo, aka JustAPenNameForMe**.


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